In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cultures, it is a common practice to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
in
children
the belief that they can achieve anything if they
work
hard enough.
While
this
message aims to cultivate
resilience
and determination in
children
, it
also
carries both advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side, encouraging
children
to persevere and strive for their goals from a young age can foster a strong and resilient character. By emphasizing the importance of
effort
and dedication,
children
learn valuable life lessons about the correlation between hard
work
and
success
.
For instance
, when
children
put in the
effort
to study diligently, they are more likely to achieve academic
success
and develop a sense of accomplishment.
This
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
in them a sense of empowerment and confidence in their abilities, laying a solid foundation for their future
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
.
However
, there are potential drawbacks to constantly emphasizing the message that
success
is solely determined by hard
work
. One significant disadvantage is the risk of fostering feelings of insecurity and self-doubt in
children
. In situations where despite their best efforts,
children
do not achieve the desired outcome, they may internalize a sense of inadequacy or failure.
This
can lead to a loss of confidence in their abilities and a fear of taking risks or pursuing new challenges.
For example
, a student who diligently prepares for an exam but receives a low grade may feel demoralized and question their academic abilities, leading to a reluctance to continue putting in
effort
in the future.
Moreover
, the relentless pursuit of
success
through hard
work
may inadvertently overlook other important factors that contribute to achievement,
such
as innate talent, opportunity, and external support systems. By solely attributing
success
to
effort
,
children
may develop a narrow perspective on
success
and overlook the importance of
resilience
in the face of setbacks, adaptability, and collaboration. In conclusion,
while
encouraging
children
to
work
hard and persevere can
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
valuable qualities like
resilience
and determination, it is essential to strike a balance and provide them with a holistic understanding of
success
. Emphasizing the importance of
effort
should be accompanied by teaching
children
to embrace failure as a learning opportunity, recognize their unique strengths and talents, and cultivate a growth mindset that values
resilience
and adaptability.
This
approach will empower
children
to navigate challenges with confidence and develop a well-rounded perspective on
success
.
Submitted by usedtobesomeoneyoulove on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To further improve your essay, consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies that illustrate your points. This could entail sharing personal anecdotes, citing relevant studies, or referring to historical examples. Doing so will enhance the argument's depth and make your essay more persuasive and engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion. To elevate it further, try experimenting with a wider range of linking devices and transitional phrases to ensure a more seamless transition between paragraphs and ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structure can add interest and help maintain the reader's engagement throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: