Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #tv #home #school

Nowadays, some people argue that

watch

Replace the word

watching

show examples

is an effective way to inspire

students

and it should be

encourage

Wrong verb form

encouraged

show examples

not only at home, but

also

at school.

Change preposition

From

show examples

For

Change preposition

From

show examples

my perspective,

although

this

view is widely acknowledged,

however

, it can't be much analysis. For some

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

see

Verb problem

watching

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

documentaries on

may be a good way to acquire

knowledge

for the

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

that it can be easy for

students

to understand what

knowledge

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

documentaries

wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to convey. During

this

process,

students

will

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

likely to gain some professional

knowledge

and catch the bullet point. Meanwhile, compared with theoretical

knowledge

in books,

programmers may contain more funny and interesting content and

contributes

Correct subject-verb agreement

contribute

show examples

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

a helping hand to draw

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

attention.

Furthermore

, there are various

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

resources on

, by watching it,

students

can be exposed to

well- quality

Correct your spelling

well-quality

show examples

learning resources and absorb some useful skills when

students

watch

at home and at school.

Although

there are lots of advantages

Change preposition

show examples

learning by watching

, it has numerous shortcomings. If

students

watch IV excessively. it'

more likely for them to

Verb problem

become

show examples

addicted to

then

waste too much time on

and stop

to do

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

some exercise like running, swimming and climbing,which may directly cause obesity and weak eyesight. Even worse,

students

may form

Correct article usage

show examples

unhealthy lifestyle

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

throughout their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. What's more,

programme

Fix the agreement mistake

programmes

show examples

or documentaries can't substitute a real teacher at school, because a real teacher not only

impart

Correct subject-verb agreement

imparts

show examples

knowledge

students

, but

also

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

students

instill

Wrong verb form

instilling

show examples

moral values

such

as honesty and sharing.

Lastly

Correct your spelling

show examples

students

rarely study by watching

it'

be difficult for them to distinguish

real

Correct article usage

the real

show examples

world from

virtual

Correct article usage

the virtual

show examples

world ,and it's

helpless

Correct word choice

impossible

show examples

for them to improve their social skills. In conclusion,

while

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

by watching

is a good way to study as many people said,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

if we spend too much time on it, it'

be harmful to our health. It'

be better to distribute the time properly.

Submitted by fiasngs on Fri Feb 16 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Task Achievement

For task achievement, ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and your own viewpoint. Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. Additionally, make your conclusion more explicit by summarizing your main points and clearly stating your opinion.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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