Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #television #impact #children’s #behaviour

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With the advent of cutting-edge technology we human beings nowadays are addicted to

this

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colorful word and

this

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affects

children

Use synonyms

more than adults.

However

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Use synonyms

programs

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also

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have negative

effects

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children

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directly and indirectly, and I do agree in

this

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regard. Looking from an

overall

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perspective, it can be seen these days technology plays a crucial role in our lives, and

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programs

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can be considered a pioneer in

this

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regard. Spending time watching

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these days is inevitable and all individuals spend at least 2 or 3 hours watching their favourite

programs

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, especially the younger generation which is more interested in the variety of these

programs

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and

this

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makes a huge demand,

Moreover

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

film industry

also

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wants to enrich their money so try to make some kind of films and

programs

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which are so popular among people which are action and sci-fi movies.

In addition

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children

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love to watch

this

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kind of program and it has bad

effects

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on them and it should be controlled

firstly

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by the government. In

this

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issue governments can enforce laws related to the range of

programs

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they make that shouldn't be harmful to youth

secondly

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parents could monitor their

children

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and never allow their

children

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to watch

programs

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that would have negative

effects

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in the long term. In conclusion,

this

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is clear that some

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programs

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have negative

effects

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on the generation and those watching

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programs

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are inevitable but first governed by strict laws

secondly

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, parents with monitoring could prevent a vionisem phenomenon among

children

Use synonyms

Submitted by mahsa.ghorbandoust71 on Fri Feb 16 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure your response fully addresses the prompt with a clear opinion and relevant examples. While you've provided an opinion and some general ideas, more detailed examples or research findings could strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion

For better Coherence and Cohesion, it's important to structure your essay clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. Using a wider range of linking words can improve the flow. You've done well with structure but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more varied transitions between ideas.

Task Achievement

Enhance your ideas by incorporating specific, real-world examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and give your essay greater impact. Also, consider both sides of the argument briefly, as this can add depth to your analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Desensitization
Imitation
Anti-social behavior
Aggression
Empathy
Pro-social behavior
Media literacy
Fear and anxiety
Parental guidance
Temperament
Media content
Regulation
Censorship
Self-control
Critical analysis

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Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think its better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them.Other people say believe its good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss boths views and give your own opinion.

The line graph about the percentage of people in three countries using the Internet between 1999 and 2009.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulosry part of high school programmes. To wat extent do you agree or disagree?