IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays,we are producing more and more rubbish.why do you think this is happening?what can government do to help reduce the rubbish produced?

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It is often considered that
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 contemporary era, the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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 are producing more and more
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 and rubbish
items
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the reasons and the solutions which
further
Linking Words
 leads to a logical conclusion.
Commencing
Verb problem
apply
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, the modern world consists of various kinds of manufacturing organizations which
produces
Change the verb form
produce
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 a lot of
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
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although
Linking Words
 the companies are not taking action against
on
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 and
this
Linking Words
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 reason, why the production of unnecessary
items
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 increasing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, today's generation is not aware
the
Change preposition
of the
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 detrimental effects of rubbish
items
Use synonyms
 and
additionally
Linking Words
, they should recycle or reuse
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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"Mitra Industries Private Limited" is a company of medical device which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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decorative and useful material by the use of waste material produced by their organization. Probing ahead, the are manyfold ways to reduce the rubbish production. First and foremost, the government should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action against the industries
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are responsible for the release of unwanted materials.
However
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 the federal officials, the population
also
Linking Words
 have to take steps and understand the hazards
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these undesired substances.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan, there is a strict rule against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organizations that they should keep their waste within the industry itself and reuse that
items
Use synonyms
 with useful means. In a nutshell, the legal authorities should implement rules and regulations against the manufacturing of waste material.
Instead
Linking Words
 of throwing these unwanted substances, they can be used to prepare some attractive show
piece
Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Ensure every paragraph has a clear main idea and that each idea is fully developed with further explanations or specific examples. While you've included examples, some sections could benefit from further explanation to strengthen the connection between the ideas and the overall argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure and using discourse markers more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay has a logical structure, using a wider range of linking words can help clarify the relationships between ideas and improve cohesion.
Coherence
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs and conclusive sentences at the end that tie back to the overall argument of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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