IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, some criminal trials are shown on TV so people can watch the trials live. Do you think the advantages of this practice outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days every time you turn on the television or flick through the pages of a newspaper you learn about the victims of crime. Some people believe the best way to intimidate society is to show some savage criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 on TV. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the pros and cons and try to draw some conclusions. I will start by looking at the advantages. One of the major plus points of atrocity being shown on television is that the community cannot some crimes. Millions of criminals worldwide have to deal with a tough life in jail. Another advantage is that criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 help society to broaden its outlook.
For example
Linking Words
, if you watch murderers, rapists, violent criminals and their tough life, you draw a valid conclusion.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 might have a negative effect on children. What's more, teenagers may even learn how to commit serious crimes when they watch criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 on TV.
As a result
Linking Words
, the crime rate will increase significantly
due to
Linking Words
 petty criminals in our humanity. In conclusion, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Crime being shown on TV is really beneficial for society. Because I think many people should learn from criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 and the harsh consequences of evil.
However
Linking Words
, teenagers and children learn and commit small crimes, which can lead to negative results like fighting and in the worst cases murders.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each point made is fully developed with clear explanations and examples. For instance, clarify what you mean by the 'tough life' criminals face or how trials broaden societal outlooks.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. This will help strengthen the overall structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument in more detail to strengthen your essay's depth and show a balanced perspective on the topic.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position in the conclusion, showing a clear stance on the issue at hand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay begins with an engaging introduction that sets the stage for the discussion on criminal trials being shown on TV.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: