Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. do you agree or disagree?

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Certain individuals believe that music,
art
and drama
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
such
as significant for school
children
. I strongly support my view
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
these subjects
Add a missing verb
are unnecessarily
show examples
unnecessarily
Change the word
unnecessary
show examples
for school kids.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
the first paragraph I explain
good
Correct article usage
the good
show examples
side
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of this
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this items
Change the determiner
this item
these items
show examples
.
On
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In
show examples
the next
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
show examples
I will fully support my viewpoint about it .
İn
Correct your spelling
In
the beginning why
some
Add a missing verb
do some
show examples
people
agree to
learning
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learn
show examples
art
? Because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
want to adopt
children
to
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with
show examples
musical
ear
Fix the agreement mistake
ears
show examples
.
Thus
, it
gives
Verb problem
apply
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strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
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opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
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to love
for
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Motherland. Mostly in every country is learning their self
art
such
as Leonardo da Vinci, Acronym Bocx. Education is
add
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
subject for mindful great
people
our
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in our
show examples
country. My side about
this
educational items. I consider that it should branch out.
For example
, it ought to depend on the
children
.
İf childrens
Correct your spelling
If children
have a desire to study other subjects,
then
they should do it at will .
Children
should not be forced to study
,
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apply
show examples
unless they want .
The
Correct article usage
Art
show examples
art
should
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
only
Change preposition
by these
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
whose future profession
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
with
this
.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
summery
Correct your spelling
summary
show examples
, some
people
think that learning music is vital for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school kids. But I consider that every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
should
educate
Wrong verb form
be educated
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own field.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. A well-defined thesis statement helps the reader understand your stance right from the start.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas followed by explanations or examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point related to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to clearly show the relationships between your ideas. This helps in improving the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This ensures your argument is clear and impactful.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. Even if hypothetical, examples help illustrate your argument more concretely.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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