Some people believe that students should be free to choose what they study in the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Education is considered to be an important aspect
in
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of
show examples
someone's life, as it is an initial step towards a better career. Ergo, each
students
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student
show examples
have the right to select which
studies
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he
wish
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wishes
show examples
to pursue. After completing high school, it is believed that each juvenile should be free in terms of selecting a
field
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of study at Universities and Colleges. I completely agree with the given notion.
This
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essay will
sheds
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shed
show examples
light on
this
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perspective
along with
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an
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apply
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appropriate examples.
To begin
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with, it is generally seen that kids before completing their
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
are being controlled by guardians,
where
Correct word choice
who
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they just have to follow
the
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their
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instructions
by
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Their most
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Most
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of
decisions
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the decisions
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related to the
studies
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are conducted by their parents and
hence
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, they are set
in
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apply
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a limit with their subjects
as well as
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studies
Use synonyms
. But after completing High school, each child should be free to select which
field
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line
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he is
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
to go, as he is the only one who knows what is best for him and not.
Additionally
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, by selecting an appropriate course as per his needs, his interest will be more as compared to the average one.
For Instance
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, In
United
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the United
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States of America, most of the youngsters are on their own for choosing their career
field
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study.
As a result
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, they all end up with their desired interest.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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believed that not all students are
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
in becoming
Doctor
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doctors
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and
Engineer
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engineers
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. As compared to past
time
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times
show examples
, when there were not
much option
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many options
show examples
available, kids were forcefully allowed to enter
in
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apply
show examples
these categories. After having
an
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apply
show examples
ample
of
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apply
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options in the
field
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line
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, each individual should
be allow
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be allowed
show examples
to select what is best for him. If
this
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thing goes on
than
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apply
show examples
, Success rate will
initially
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go high. To prove it, In China, after having so
may
Correct your spelling
many
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interesting
field
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
, youngsters are allowed to do whatever they want, whether they want
a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good study
good studies
show examples
studies
Use synonyms
in college or can start their own Start-up. In Conclusion, Even though there are plenty of benefits
for
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to
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choosing their own
field
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line
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, there are
also
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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drawback
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drawbacks
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which can't be ignored. After getting
this
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much freedom, there are some students who go
in
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into
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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bad company. To avoid
this
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, some consideration should be taken in special cases. I completely agree by stating that, children should be allowed to learn whatever they like to study in Universities.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay in a more logical and coherent manner. Making sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next can enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
In terms of Introduction and Conclusion, make sure you clearly state your position at the beginning and summarily reinforce it at the end, while keeping both parts concise.
Coherence & Cohesion
When supporting your main ideas, provide more detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and showcases a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Ensure you respond fully to all parts of the task. Clearly state your argument, support it with detailed examples and consider contrasting points of view where appropriate.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are good, but aim for clarity in expressing them. Consider simplifying complex sentences where possible to make your essay more accessible to the reader.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate a variety of specific examples that are directly relevant to your argument. This helps demonstrate a thorough understanding of the subject.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic freedom
  • curriculum personalization
  • career prospects
  • market saturation
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • critical thinking
  • academic counseling
  • informed decision-making
  • holistic education
  • oversaturation
  • underrepresentation
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