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Band 5.5

some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #e-books #death #paper #books
It is often argued that with the development of
e-
books
, it is not far away when
paper
books
 will disappear
while
Correct word choice
apply
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some disagree as for them it is an impossible thing to believe. Despite the mass use of
e-
books
, I still think that traditional
paper
books
 are not going anywhere. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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light of the current growth of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 technological era,
e-
books
 have become popular in a very short
time
. Especially, youngsters who spend maximum
time
 on gadgets, make use of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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one-click away
Add a hyphen
one-click-away
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books
 for their personal or educational purposes, saving
time
 and money.
For instance
, a survey showed that over
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 more students spend less
time
 in
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 as every
book
 is now in their hands
in
Change preposition
on
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 one device.
Thus
, the libraries have installed computers as per the demand increased so
people
 can
convinently
Correct your spelling
conveniently
 look for their desired information in minimum
time
.
However
, printed
books
 are still high in demand in the market.
People
 prefer to carry a real
book
 or a handout with them as
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is not always available.
Instead
 of
books business
Fix the agreement mistake
book businesses
show examples
 shutting down
due to
e-
books
,
for example
, new ventures are being set where
an
Correct article usage
apply
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old
cafe style
Add a hyphen
cafe-style
show examples
 libraries are opening in different locations.
People
 are fond of
books
, the smell of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 tangibility
books
 bring
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 impossible to attain from any screen. Another advantage is that elderly
people
 who are not
tech efficient
Add a hyphen
tech-efficient
show examples
 are only comfortable reading from a printed
book
. It
also
 brings in a sense of calm when finishing a
book
 and flipping the
last
 page over which is obviously missed in any ebook. In conclusion, some
people
 consider ebooks presence as
a
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apply
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harm to old printed
books
 yet in my opinion,
although
 it is true that ebooks are a quick source of information,
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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advantages can not
out run
Correct your spelling
outrun
show examples
 the importance of
paper
books
.
Submitted by abid.srm on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, touching on both sides and providing a clear opinion. To improve, ensure you further explore each point with deeper analysis and a broader range of examples.
coherence & cohesion
You've structured your essay well with a good balance of introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Increase clarity by signposting your arguments more explicitly, guiding the reader through your essay with phrases like 'on one hand', 'on the other hand', etc.
task achievement
To bolster your main points, aim for a variety of detailed examples and data where possible. This could involve citing more specific studies, surveys, or tangible outcomes of e-books versus paper books to support your arguments more convincibly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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