IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
There is some
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
show examples
thinks
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
books
Use synonyms
 should be replaced with laptops and videos, I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
totaly
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totally
 agree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 because of the
whaght
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variety
 of
books
Use synonyms
 that the students care
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages of
useing
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using
 computers.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
I think that using laptops is more useful nowadays is because holding that much of
books
Use synonyms
 every day is not
confrtobl
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control
 for the kids which could
hert
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hurt
 their backs and they will be
tierd
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tired
 and
exusted
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existed
exhausted
. For
examaple
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example
,
Add an article
a student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
praimery
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primary
 school
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
studing
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studying
 a few subjects they
dont
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don't
 need that
mach
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much
 of
hevy
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heavy
books
Use synonyms
ensted
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instead
 of that they can use ipads or computers.
Body paragraph 2
The other reason that may
effect
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affect
show examples
 them
posetivly
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positively
in future is the
penift
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benefit
 of using laptops during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classes.
In other words
Linking Words
,
studing
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studying
 by using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 will help the
cheldreen
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children
 a lot with learning .
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 having
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different
deffrent
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different
 ways and
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sources
soerces
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sources
to search for
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 going
Correct your spelling
through
throge
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through
 many
books
Use synonyms
Conclusion
To sum
Linking Words
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 everything that
been
Add a missing verb
has been
show examples
 stated so far,
aming
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among
aiming
 the number of
books
Use synonyms
 that the students should have
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one computer will be
bater
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better
 for their health and will help them to
explour
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explore
 new
thinks
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things
show examples
 by them
selfs
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selves
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more sophisticated structure for your essay, including a clear introduction with a thesis statement, body paragraphs with individual topic sentences, and a concise conclusion summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity and coherence by using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the task by providing a balanced discussion on the topic. Explore both sides of the argument (if applicable) before stating your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your essay by including more elaborated examples and evidence to support your points. This will also help in making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
general
Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to avoid errors that may obscure meaning or reduce the professional quality of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital mediums
  • visual and auditory learners
  • engagement
  • comprehension
  • outdated
  • interactive media
  • real-life scenarios
  • personalized learning
  • ecological impact
  • digital divide
  • screen time
  • tactile experience
  • memory retention
  • irreplaceable
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