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Band 1

EVERY YEAR SEVERAL LANGUAGE DIE OUT . SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IS NOT IMPORTAN

#year #language #people #importan
We all
knew
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know
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 that there are several languages around the world. But the question is why? why we do not just have one
paticulr
Correct your spelling
particular
language
?
,
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apply
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 the simple answer is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 every
language
represent
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represents
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 a different culture. And that
what
Add a missing verb
is what
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 humans are not capable of
understand
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understanding
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, people believe if we have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fewer
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 life is going to be easier and
i
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I
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am totally disagree
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totally disagree
show examples
 with that.
Recent
Add an article
A recent
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 study said that the
majoriety
Correct your spelling
majority
 of our
invention
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inventions
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 discovered by the
ancien
Correct your spelling
ancient
. take
for example
 the anatomy of
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 body
firest
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first
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 people
wrote
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who wrote
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 a book about it were the arabs, and without
knewing
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knowing
there
Replace the word
their
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 own
language
 we could not be able to take
this
 knowledge. Basically what
i
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I
show examples
 am trying to say is we should In conclusion,
Submitted by zx00154 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your current essay seems unfinished, especially the conclusion which abruptly ends mid-sentence. This makes your essay appear incomplete.
logical structure
Develop and organize your ideas more effectively. The shift from discussing the importance of language diversity to the role of ancient inventions feels abrupt. Try to maintain a clearer focus on the main topic throughout your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, it's essential to cover both sides of the argument if the topic suggests so, and clearly state your opinion. Your essay hints at disagreement with the idea that a fewer number of languages would make life easier, but this argument is not fully developed or concluded.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples to support your arguments. You mention a study and the invention related to human anatomy by Arabs as examples, but greater detail and explanation would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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