Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There has been recent debate regarding the courses and classes
provides
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
by universities and what
students
should do about them. Some say that university
students
should be allowed to
study
subjects
freely,
while
others believe only certain
subjects
should be
thought
Verb problem
taught
show examples
to
students
.Today I will discuss both viewpoints. Those who say that
students
should be free to choose whatever
subjects
they please say that it allows
students
to freely express their ambitions and dreams. It would allow them to choose their desired
carreeer
Correct your spelling
career
paths without the pressure from parents,society or other outside factors. They
also
say it exposes them to wider opportunities to choose and pick from.
Students
can
also
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
improved
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
on previous skills and even gain new skills by choosing the subject they want to
study
.
This
gives them a strong foundation for handling future problems.
Lastly
many believe that allowing
students
to pick which subject they like can
also
better build their portfolio for the future,as it shows that they are willing to learn and try new things and are involved in the campus community.
On the other hand
,some argue that it is
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better for
students
to
study
only the most important of
subjects
like science or mathematics. They argue that
this
gives them the ability to concentrate and
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
on a few
subjects
than focus on a myriad of lessons.They say that these topics might have a much better chance
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
leading the
students
to better jobs
such
as engineering than allowing them to pick the course they desire.
Finally
, it
also
provides the more indecisive
students
who do not know which course to pick a "set in stone" path that they can walk through. In conclusion,some people think
students
should be allowed to pick whatever course they want,as it allows them to pursue their desired careers and increase their variety of skills,
while
others believe they should only
study
important
subjects
as it allows more prestigious and
better paying
Add a hyphen
better-paying
show examples
jobs,and an easy path for
students
to take. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I think
students
should be allowed to take whatever studies they want,because it is essentially that they pursue their dreams to the fullest.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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Task Achievement
To improve your essay's task response, aim to delve deeper into analyzing both viewpoints and your own. Detailed examples and a more thorough exploration of the implications of each argument will strengthen your position and provide a more complete response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhancing the coherence and cohesion of your essay can be achieved by more effectively transitioning between ideas. Consider employing a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother connections between paragraphs and within them. This will aid in forming a more cohesive argument throughout.
Task Achievement
Integrating specific, real-world examples can significantly bolster your main points. These examples should directly support the arguments you're making and be clearly relevant to the topic at hand. Carefully chosen examples can illuminate your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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