University students always focus on one special subject but some people think university should encourage their students to study a range of subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays
teriary
Correct your spelling
tertiary
schools
Change noun form
schools'
school's
show examples
curiculum
Correct your spelling
curricula
are specific to just one special course for their students but most are of
view
Add an article
the view
show examples
that they should encourage them to study
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
show examples
of courses or
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. And I completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the idea that students should have more courses to learn.
Firstly
, having a wide range of studies gives us more knowledge and resources that we can use in the
future
as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employee or an employer in the workforce.
For example
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare students
also
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to know how to do some basic business management because they will not only be
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on treating the patient but
also
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to handle some issues regarding the
hospitals
Fix the agreement mistake
hospital
show examples
finances if they are aiming to be in a higher position.
Therefore
they will be well equipped in the
future
if they have
a different kinds
Correct the article-noun agreement
different kinds
a different kind
show examples
of studies.
Furthermore
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well versed
Add a hyphen
well-versed
show examples
learning will give the learners more skills and they can practice more areas.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
can help
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
develop critical thinking,multi-tasking and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
understanding
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the wide range of
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
they might encounter in the
future
. If a healthcare scholar can learn more like law,business,
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and computer literature they can not only be a great health worker who takes care of their patients they can
also
teach in the
future
if they want to. In conclusion, even though scholars are more
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in one specific field it is better to take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in learning more studies to
be prepare
Change the verb form
be prepared
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
endevours
Correct your spelling
endeavours
.
Submitted by hazeljoyanuma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance your score in Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Try to present a balanced view before concluding your own stance. Providing a wider range of arguments and discussing the opposite viewpoint could enrich your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity and progression of ideas by using a variety of linking words and phrases. Check the flow of your essay to make sure it's easy for the reader to follow your reasoning. This will help you in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve in Coherence and Cohesion, work on structuring your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and be followed by supporting sentences that back up your initial point.
Task Achievement
To further improve, consider refining your examples to be more specific and directly related to the argument you are making. Adding statistics, research findings, or hypothetical scenarios could make your examples more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: