People say that nowadays, modern teens are too much reliant on Information Technologies. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In recent years, children have
spend
more time on Information Technologies. People think that Change the verb form
spent
teenagers
depend too much on Information Technologies. I partly agree with Use synonyms
this
opinion for Linking Words
reasons
.
On the one hand, it is true that there is an increased dependence on IT Correct quantifier usage
some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
teenagers
. Excessive screen time limits face-to-face interaction, Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and exercises
exercises
, leaving a negative impact on children’s Correct word choice
and exercises
overall
development. Linking Words
For instance
, children prefer communicating by online messages to seeing each other directly, which can hinder their emotional Linking Words
expressing
ability. Replace the word
expression
Furthermore
, modern Linking Words
teenagers
are likely to suffer from many health issues caused by IT. Use synonyms
For example
, cyberbullying and other deception tricks lead to anxiety or even depression. Linking Words
Moreover
, distractions from notifications might disrupt teenager’s sleep Linking Words
along with
concentration Linking Words
while
working. Linking Words
Therefore
, to a certain extent, modern Linking Words
teenagers
rely too much on IT.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, IT provides significant benefits for modern Linking Words
teenagers
. In terms of their academy, IT offers valuable learning and communication tools, Use synonyms
such
as Google Scholar, Quizlet, and Canva. By accessing Linking Words
to
these tools, Change preposition
apply
teenagers
can approach educational resources, collaborate with global friends and release quality products more easily and professionally. Use synonyms
In addition
, children’s critical thinking and digital literacy skills can be fostered and improved. Linking Words
For example
, accessing Linking Words
to
IT requires critical assessment of information to avoid violating the rights and interests of other online participants. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, it is somehow beneficial to modern Linking Words
teenagers
to be native Use synonyms
at
IT.
In conclusion, I partly agree that modern Change preposition
to
teenagers
rely too much on IT. Because the level of Use synonyms
individual’s
reliance on IT Correct article usage
an individual’s
also
depends on their ability to manage their time for IT.Linking Words
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both sides of the argument, which is excellent for task achievement. However, to further enhance your score, ensure every paragraph directly contributes to your argument or analysis. Adding more specific examples to strengthen your points would be beneficial.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and an evident introduction and conclusion. To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Additionally, work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and flow.