People say that nowadays, modern teens are too much reliant on Information Technologies. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, children have
spend
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spent
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more time on Information Technologies. People think that
teenagers
depend too much on Information Technologies. I partly agree with
this
opinion for
reasons
Correct quantifier usage
some reasons
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. On the one hand, it is true that there is an increased dependence on IT
of
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
. Excessive screen time limits face-to-face interaction,
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and exercises
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exercises
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and exercises
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, leaving a negative impact on children’s
overall
development.
For instance
, children prefer communicating by online messages to seeing each other directly, which can hinder their emotional
expressing
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expression
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ability.
Furthermore
, modern
teenagers
are likely to suffer from many health issues caused by IT.
For example
, cyberbullying and other deception tricks lead to anxiety or even depression.
Moreover
, distractions from notifications might disrupt teenager’s sleep
along with
concentration
while
working.
Therefore
, to a certain extent, modern
teenagers
rely too much on IT.
On the other hand
, IT provides significant benefits for modern
teenagers
. In terms of their academy, IT offers valuable learning and communication tools,
such
as Google Scholar, Quizlet, and Canva. By accessing
to
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apply
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these tools,
teenagers
can approach educational resources, collaborate with global friends and release quality products more easily and professionally.
In addition
, children’s critical thinking and digital literacy skills can be fostered and improved.
For example
, accessing
to
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apply
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IT requires critical assessment of information to avoid violating the rights and interests of other online participants.
Therefore
, it is somehow beneficial to modern
teenagers
to be native
at
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to
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IT. In conclusion, I partly agree that modern
teenagers
rely too much on IT. Because the level of
individual’s
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an individual’s
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reliance on IT
also
depends on their ability to manage their time for IT.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and an evident introduction and conclusion. To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Additionally, work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and flow.
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