IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
Nowadays,
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
countries
 try to support other
countries
 to find solutions to their financial challenges.
However
, some rich states should give tangible help rather than
money
. On the one hand, a large number of people
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
show examples
 that sending
money
 to poverty
countries
 is more beneficial and they said that for many reasons. First of all, the poor country knows and understands more than other
countries
 what they need so, it will use the
money
 to solve the main problem.
For example
, Somalia uses given
money
 to provide its citizens with healthy foods and drinks to live a good life.
On the other hand
, a host of progressive people protested that if any rich country wants to provide any help to poor states it is better to support them with moral help.
Moreover
, they think that building schools and hospitals or
register
Wrong verb form
registering
show examples
 them in schools is more beneficial for poor people.
For instance
, some rich
countries
 built a large number of hospitals in poor
countries
. And they see that some government of poor country do not give any cones to their citizen and use them for themself.
To conclude
, rich
countries
 should give any type of help
rather
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than
money
 or tangible. But at the same time, they should interested in their support.
Submitted by hafsaalbadi199 on

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Task Achievement
Introduction and conclusion should clearly state your stance on the topic. Make sure to introduce the topic and your view clearly in the introduction and sum up your arguments in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more extensively by exploring their implications, providing more specific examples, and analyzing how they support your stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a clear and logical structure in your essay. Start with an introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each main point, and conclude your essay with a summary of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Follow this with supporting sentences and a concluding sentence where applicable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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