Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that
due to
the difference between sexes,men are suitable for caertain
jobs Correct your spelling
certain
while
women
are not. However
, I argue that jobs are chosen by people, despite their gender because of social help and their own opinions, even though there is a disaprity
in strength betweenCorrect your spelling
disparity
2
sexes.
It must be acknowledged that the personality of a person relies a lot on their background and how they were taught. Correct article usage
the 2
Therefore
, it is inadequate if we choose what kind of personalities they have just based on their gender and appearance. For example
, some day-care teachers are good at nursing the youth despite the common prejudice that men are easily
to get angry and do not have enough patience. One of them shared that his experience in taking care of kids is actually from his childhood when growing up with younger sisters.
Another thing Replace the adverb
easy
must
acknowledged is that other Correct pronoun usage
that must
sex
can provide a different approach to the same problem, Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
whichis
needed in jobs Correct your spelling
which is
Correct pronoun usage
that requir
requir
many perspectives to solve a problem. Correct your spelling
require
For instance
, policemen are usually more courageous and excel at fighting, policewomen tend to focus on details and are easier to open up to strangers to ask them provide
information that may help the investigation. Another prime example is that there is an increase in the number of Add the particle
to provide
women
becoming pilots all over the world, completely eliminated
Wrong verb form
eliminating
belief
that Correct article usage
the belief
women
are hopeless at giving direction
and understanding signs.
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
However
, some people argue that the lack of strength and certain kind
of personalities can be the Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
linitation
for some people who apply for the job. Correct your spelling
limitation
This
point has credibility, but nowsaday
, girls and boys can decide what kind of job they want to do in the future and start to train themselves from a young age.
In conclusion, men and Correct your spelling
nowadays
women
may not have all the qualities that
required in a certain job, Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
still can choose what career they want to pursue with the help Correct word choice
but they
from
Change preposition
of
the
society and their own determination.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that your argument addresses the essay prompt directly. You argued effectively, but parts of the essay drifted away from the core argument (whether certain jobs are suitable for men and women). Concentrate on arguing how and why both men and women are equally capable of performing any job, linking directly back to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure and there is a clear connection between paragraphs. However, to enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively by beginning with a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and concluding with a summarizing or linking sentence.
task achievement
Providing specific examples is a great way to support your argument. To improve, ensure these examples are directly relevant to the argument you're making. Try to integrate them more smoothly into your narrative by explicating how they specifically support your thesis, rather than just stating them.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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