IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#poverty #countries #six #years #education #numbers
Poverty
 remains a pressing issue in most developing countries, and one proposed solution is a provision of up to six years of free
education
, aiming to equip individuals with essential literacy and numeracy skills. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 approach.
While
 free
education
 is a crucial step towards
poverty
 reduction, it is not a standalone solution. Equally essential are adequate infrastructure, trained teachers, and quality educational resources. Merely providing free
education
 without ensuring its quality may result in a system that fails to deliver the desired outcomes.
Therefore
, governments could focus on holistic educational reforms, including teacher training programs,
school
 infrastructure development, and curriculum enhancements, to maximize the impact of free
education
 initiatives.
For example
, in China, alongside the introduction of free
education
 policies, the government invested in teacher training programs and improved
school
 infrastructure, leading to enhanced learning outcomes and noticeably higher student retention rates.
However
, free
education
 itself can significantly increase access to schooling, particularly for marginalized communities and children from low-income backgrounds. Financial barriers often prevent children from attending
school
, perpetuating the cycle of
poverty
. By eliminating tuition fees at young ages, developing countries can remove one of the major obstacles to
education
 and ensure that all children have the opportunity to learn.
For instance
, in India, the implementation of free
education
 policies has led to a rise in
school
 enrollment rates among girls from disadvantaged communities, encouraging them to escape unfair conditions and pursue better futures through improved employability.
This
 inclusivity in
education
 can help bridge social and economic gaps, fostering a more equitable society. In conclusion, I strongly agree that offering up to six years of free
education
 can be a powerful tool for overcoming
poverty
 in developing countries. By prioritizing
education
 and implementing necessary reforms, developing nations can better empower their citizens and reduce
poverty
 levels in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Submitted by mai132004mai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure a clear stance is taken throughout the essay, and consistently support this standpoint with detailed reasoning and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Continue to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be supported by explanations or examples.
Task Achievement
Integrate a wider range of examples from various contexts to strengthen your argument, making sure they directly support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: