The graph below shows the number of trips made by children in one country to travel to and from school in 1990 and 2010 using various modes of transport. Summarise theinformation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisonswhere relevant. Travel to and from school by children aged 5-12

#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #theinformation #features #comparisonswhere

The bar graph compares the total

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of trips made by

people

under 18 to go to and back from schools in a specific country.

Overall

, more

people

walked to their education place rather than using other transport types in 1990. In 2010 the most common way for

this

was being

Change the article

show examples

automobile

passanger

Correct your spelling

passenger

. Being a car

passanger

Correct your spelling

passenger

was the rarest type of transportation in 1990 and

this

became the most preferred in 2010, with just over 4

million

people

and around 11

million

people

, respectively. The number of

people

who walked to their school was just above 12

million

in 1990 and

this

number was nearly half that of in 2010. Cycling was the third most-used way to commute to educational places

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

back in 1990, and

this

changed into being the least in 2010. The number of

people

who both walked and used

bus

Correct article usage

the bus

show examples

in 1990 was just under 6

million

and

this

transformed into just under 4

million

in 2010. There was a little difference between the usage of buses in 1990 and 2010 with around 2

million

people

and

this

was the second most-used and third in 1990 and 2010, respectively.

Submitted by :DDDDD on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, million with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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