The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#sales #five #phone #brands #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons

the graph

depict

Change the verb form

depicts

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

information about the

mobile's

Change noun form

mobiles

show examples

which were sold by

top

Correct article usage

the top

show examples

five favourite brands of cellphones, over

an five

Correct your spelling

a five-year

show examples

years

of period, from 2009 to 2013 After the analysis, it is clearly stated that in the year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2009

Add a comma

2009,

show examples

nokia

Change the capitalization

Nokia

show examples

had the highest selling units almost 400

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and after having a small dip,

this

figure rock bottom to 250

million

in revenue in 2013.

moreover

samsung

Change the capitalization

Samsung

show examples

saw an increasing

trend

Change preposition

of close

show examples

to 250

million

and

this

trend

went

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

four

years

straight reaching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

400

million

profit from

seeling

Correct your spelling

selling

show examples

smarphone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

however

, ZTE did not show much of

profit

Correct article usage

a profit

show examples

trend

and remained

steadily

Change the word

steady

show examples

Correct your spelling

throughout

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the five

years

furthermore

, a small

riverly

Correct your spelling

river

rivalry

between

apple

Capitalize word

Apple

show examples

and LG

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

seen there. at the start of the year,

apple

Add an article

the apple

show examples

did not show much of

trend

Correct article usage

a trend

show examples

but the figure saw

upward

Correct article usage

an upward

show examples

trend

(100

million

) after two

years

and

this

figure skyrocketed to almost

150million

Correct your spelling

150 million

in total.

on the other hand

, close to

hundred

Correct article usage

a hundred

show examples

million

Change preposition

apply

show examples

units were sold by LG but in 2011, the downward

trend

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started and the same

very

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

trend

happened after another two

years

overall

, it is clearly manifested that

Change the capitalization

Nokia

show examples

nokia

Change the capitalization

Nokia

show examples

and

Change the capitalization

Samsung

show examples

samsung

Change the capitalization

Samsung

show examples

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

had the

million

Correct your spelling

millions

show examples

of users

Change preposition

apply

show examples

each

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

but for

apple

Capitalize word

Apple

show examples

and LG a fluctuation

had been

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

seen throughout the period

Submitted by abdulahad08600 on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, million, trend with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 7 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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