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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #population #yemen #projections #summarise #features #comparisons
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about the population
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different ages in two countries starting from 2000 and ending with the prediction for 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the highest age
percentage
Use synonyms
 in most of the
years
Use synonyms
 in both countries was from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the largest
proportion
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
Yemen
Change noun form
Yemen's
show examples
 population in 2000 was
people
Use synonyms
 from 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 with 50.1%.
However
Linking Words
, in Italy it is the opposite, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are from 15-59 is the highest
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 61.6%, and the lowest rate was for
peopel
Correct your spelling
people
 who are under that age. Looking closely
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the figures, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 in Yemen changed a lot after 50
years
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from 0-14 and from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 was approximately the same, but in 2050 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are from 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 increased to 57.3%.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 who are
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60+
years
Use synonyms
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of it did
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 dramatically, there is just around 2% change.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 Italy the rate of
people
Use synonyms
 who are 60+
years
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
old become
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become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the second highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 and
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 substantially after 5 decades with 42.3%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are under 15 is roughly the same, but
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who are from 15 and under
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60
years
Use synonyms
 decreased to 46.2%
Submitted by aminaalmatrook on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, years, proportion, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age distribution
  • population demographics
  • projected
  • projections
  • notable changes
  • demographic changes
  • implications
  • birth rates
  • life expectancy
  • senior citizens
  • young population
  • working-age population
  • dependency ratio
  • aging population
  • socio-economic impact
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