Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?
Nowaday
, Correct your spelling
Nowadays
people
tend to work
more hours
than in the past affecting mainly their health and personal relationship
. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
However
, there are some solution
that can Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
be apply
in order to make a good Change the verb form
be applied
work
-life
balance.
On
of the main problems of intensive workload is healthy issues. Correct your spelling
One
People
who work
for many hours
tend to suffere
from mental Correct your spelling
suffer
desicess
Correct your spelling
devices
such
as stress. This
is because workers does
not have enough time to clear their mains or to relax. One of the main solutions is that companies must provide their employees with free fitness facilities. Change the verb form
do
For example
, gym
club or Correct article usage
a gym
yoga
salon. Correct article usage
a yoga
Subsecuently
, Correct your spelling
Subsequently
people
would feel relaxed and with more energy to back to work
.
Another problem that unbalance
Wrong verb form
unbalanced
work
and life
can face is strain
of personal Add an article
a strain
the strain
relationship
and social Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
life
. Long
Add a hyphen
Long-hours
hours
workers tend to desert from their social life
affecting principally their lovers. For example
, some parents do not spend enough time with their families. This
can affect the worker lovers specilly
their soons Correct your spelling
specifically
that
can develop Correct pronoun usage
who
a
negative Correct article usage
apply
behavour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
as a consequence
of the lack of family coexistence. An affective
solution can be that companies must offer Correct your spelling
effective
to
their workers more flexible Change preposition
apply
siffts
and Correct your spelling
shifts
regulary
vacations. Correct your spelling
regular
regularly
This
would make people
to spend more time at their houses and strengthen the family ties.
In conclusion, working for many hours
can make workes
Correct your spelling
workers
to
have an unbalance Fix the infinitive
apply
on
their Change preposition
in
work
and life
however
this
can be solved of
companies offer to their Correct your spelling
if
emploeers
fitness facilities and flexible Correct your spelling
employers
employees
work
siffts
.Correct your spelling
shifts
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents ideas that are generally relevant to the prompt, but could benefit from more in-depth discussion. Try to delve deeper into why these issues occur and how the proposed solutions could effectively address them, providing more detailed justifications and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from closer attention to paragraph structuring and the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph contains one central idea and that all sentences within it clearly support that idea. This will enhance the coherence of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your position. This will help frame your argument for the reader and solidify your stance on the topic.
Language Accuracy
There are several spelling and grammatical errors in your essay. Paying closer attention to spelling, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure will improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider using tools or references to help with proofreading.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite