IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?

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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
work
Use synonyms
 more
hours
Use synonyms
 than in the past affecting mainly their health and personal
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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.
However
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, there are some
solution
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solutions
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 that can
be apply
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be applied
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 in order to make a good
work
Use synonyms
-
life
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 balance.
On
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One
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 of the main problems of intensive workload is healthy issues.
People
Use synonyms
 who
work
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 for many
hours
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 tend to
suffere
Correct your spelling
suffer
 from mental
desicess
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devices
such
Linking Words
 as stress.
This
Linking Words
 is because workers
does
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do
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 not have enough time to clear their mains or to relax. One of the main solutions is that companies must provide their employees with free fitness facilities.
For example
Linking Words
,
gym
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a gym
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 club or
yoga
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a yoga
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 salon.
Subsecuently
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Subsequently
,
people
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 would feel relaxed and with more energy to back to
work
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. Another problem that
unbalance
Wrong verb form
unbalanced
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work
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 and
life
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 can face is
strain
Add an article
a strain
the strain
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 of personal
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 and social
life
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.
Long
Add a hyphen
Long-hours
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hours
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 workers tend to desert from their social
life
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 affecting principally their lovers.
For example
Linking Words
, some parents do not spend enough time with their families.
This
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 can affect the worker lovers
specilly
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specifically
 their soons
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 can develop
a
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apply
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negative
behavour
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behaviour
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of the lack of family coexistence. An
affective
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effective
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 solution can be that companies must offer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their workers more flexible
siffts
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shifts
 and
regulary
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regular
regularly
 vacations.
This
Linking Words
 would make
people
Use synonyms
 to spend more time at their houses and strengthen the family ties. In conclusion, working for many
hours
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 can make
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have an unbalance
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
 and
life
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however
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be solved
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 companies offer to their
emploeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 fitness facilities and flexible
work
Use synonyms
siffts
Correct your spelling
shifts
.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents ideas that are generally relevant to the prompt, but could benefit from more in-depth discussion. Try to delve deeper into why these issues occur and how the proposed solutions could effectively address them, providing more detailed justifications and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay would benefit from closer attention to paragraph structuring and the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph contains one central idea and that all sentences within it clearly support that idea. This will enhance the coherence of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Remember to introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude with a summary of your main points and a restatement of your position. This will help frame your argument for the reader and solidify your stance on the topic.
Language Accuracy
There are several spelling and grammatical errors in your essay. Paying closer attention to spelling, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure will improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider using tools or references to help with proofreading.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve balance
  • heightened stress
  • physical health issues
  • mental health issues
  • decline in productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • overworked
  • personal relationships
  • social life
  • deteriorating
  • participation
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • personal goals
  • interests
  • challenging
  • personal development
  • flexible working arrangements
  • telecommuting
  • recharge
  • clear boundaries
  • supportive work environment
  • prioritizes
  • employee wellness
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