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Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

The world natural resources are consumed at an ever-increased rate. What are the causes of this situation? What are the solutions?

#world #resources #rate #situation
In the
last
 few decades, people
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 using too much of the world's natural resources at a very high rate.
For example
, people use too many trees by cutting down to make some structures which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 global warming by cutting down too many trees and destroying animal habitats.
Moreover
, people take many ores in caves illegally to solve
this
. The government should block the way to go inside;
therefore
, by talking about these problems it might be helpful to make their own solution.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure, comprising an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps readers follow your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. The prompt asks for causes and solutions to the overconsumption of natural resources, so ensure you discuss both in balanced detail.
task achievement
For greater clarity and comprehensiveness, explain your ideas and examples more fully. Avoid general statements by adding specifics to illustrate your points clearly.
general
Check your essay for grammatical errors and improve your sentence structures for better readability and to make a stronger impression on the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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