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Band 3

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #life #university #education
individuals believe that the great method to achieve
successful
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success
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
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 academic institutions,
while
 others believe that we have good
at to
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apply
show examples
skill
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skills
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 and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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natural talent which can help to gain progression.
This
 essay will
be
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apply
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discuses
Correct your spelling
discuss
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 both
of
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apply
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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with
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from
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 my perspective. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a lot of arguments
that
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about
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 why
people
 want to finish their tertiary school.
Firstly
, a number of
people
 would like to become a doctor, engineer and other fields.
In
Correct your spelling
It
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
essential
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an essential
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 part of our life to
dream
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dreams
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 come
to
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apply
show examples
true. If a member of society
to complete
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completes
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 their listen
then
 they don’t have any problem
to get
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getting
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 a job
For instance
 amazon,
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are
interesting
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interested
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 in a getting job than
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will have to show their degree. Learning education can help them for those who are interested
a
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in a
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field job.
On the other hand
, education university is
nit
Correct your spelling
not
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 deciding
to
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apply
show examples
your success, it has another reason behind
this
 statement. TO
began
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begin
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 with
it
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apply
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, it’s possible without
to finish out
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finishing
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 college that we can access
successful
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success
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 in our daily life
for example
mark
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Mark
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 Zaalberg one a person who
create
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created
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fb
Correct your spelling
FB
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. He dropped out
university
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of university
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 so his
wealthy
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wealth
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 was as
bel gate
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Bel Gate
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.
To sum
up
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up,
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 in my perspective,
academic
Add an article
an academic
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 degree is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
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 way to accomplish,
this
 because
people
 who have higher education are more likely to have a good career in the future and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
can have a good service
for
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to
show examples
 society in the medical
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
. Some
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay in a clearer manner. Consider using a standard essay format with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable and effectively summarize your main points and opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop and support your main points more thoroughly. Each viewpoint should be explored in depth with examples or explanations.
Task Achievement
Provide a more complete response to the task. Make sure to discuss both viewpoints as the prompt requests, and conclude with a clear statement of your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Try to present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and focus on making your argument understandable.
Task Achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This helps make your essay more persuasive and grounded in reality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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