IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a year. Write a letter to the couple, In your letter -explain why you think you would be suitable for the job -Say what else you could do for the family -give your reasons for wanting the job

#advertisement #couple #australia #someone #two #children #language #year #-explain #job #-say #-give
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Dear Mrs Bhatra, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to apply
on
Change preposition
for
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job
Correct article usage
the job
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 advertised about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teaching your children
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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 language . I think
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
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 candidate for
this
Linking Words
 job because
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 already have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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experience
Use synonyms
 of teaching
Correct article usage
the punjabi
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punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
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 language to foreign
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
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 and
i
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I
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 can provide you reference as well .
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
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this
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have 5 years
professional
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of professional
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experience
Use synonyms
 as
Correct article usage
a punjabi
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punjabi
Change the capitalization
Punjabi
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 teacher in the school
as well as
Linking Words
 two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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Use synonyms
experience
Change preposition
of experience
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 as
early
Correct article usage
an early
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 childhood teacher .You can visit my website and read the reviews from my clients in your free time. As I know , parents
busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
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 at work most of the time and hard for you
leave
Fix the infinitive
to leave
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 your
kids
Use synonyms
 at home alone . I can take of your
kids
Use synonyms
 as well
while
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provide
Change the verb form
providing
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 tutoring to them . If you would like to share
meal
Correct article usage
the meal
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 plan of your family so
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can make meals for your
kids
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 take them for
walk
Add an article
a walk
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 if you feel safe to do so. I want
this
Linking Words
 job because
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want to open my
Use synonyms
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
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 school in
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 two years .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
this
Linking Words
 will help me to foster my
experience
Use synonyms
 and provide me
the
Add the preposition
with the
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 opportunity to improve my teaching skills . I attached my resume with the letter again and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 hope
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
call
Add an article
a call
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 from you soon. Yours faithfully, Roopkamal Kaur
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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Task Response
To improve your Task Response, ensure that your letter fully answers all parts of the prompt. While you have addressed the points, elaborating more on why you want the job and providing more specific examples of your previous experience could strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and transitions to connect your ideas more smoothly. While your letter has a clear structure, better transitions between paragraphs and sentences would enhance readability and flow.
Greeting and Closing
In terms of Greeting and Closing, you’ve done well by using a polite and appropriate greeting and closing. To refine further, ensure the entire letter maintains a consistent level of formality.
Single Idea per Paragraph
To improve the single idea per paragraph criterion, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single topic or idea. This will make your writing clearer and more organized. Your letter somewhat achieves this, but clearer topic sentences could enhance each paragraph’s focus.
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