The bar chart shows the participation of children in selected leisure activities in Australia.

#bar #participation #children #leisure #activities #australia

The information about the number of teenagers who

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

participate in five different kinds of leisure activities is depicted by a given bar chart. The data has been calibrated in percentage.

To sum up

, it can be vividly manifested that the highest proportion is attributed to watching tv and videos,

while

rolle

Correct your spelling

roller

blading represents the lowest point. At first glance at the chart, it is evident that a slight discrepancy is seen between the percentile of young men and young women in rolle blading which is 40% and 35%,

correspondingly

Rephrase

respectively

show examples

Further

analysis reveals that the ratio of

boys

who get

involve

Change the form of the verb

involved

show examples

in bike riding is higher than

the

Correct determiner usage

that

show examples

girls

Change preposition

of girls

show examples

, the former

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is almost 65% and the latter is about 50%. Moving to the next information, the ratio of 5 to

14 year old

Add a hyphen

14-year-old

show examples

boys

and

girls

who watch

Correct your spelling

show examples

and videos is apparent same

Verb problem

show examples

that is

accounted

Wrong verb form

accounting

show examples

Change preposition

for 99

show examples

%. Probing ahead, the

boys

play more electronic and computer games rather than the

girls

which stands at 79% and 61%, respectively.

Hence forward

Correct your spelling

Henceforward

show examples

, a considerable difference is noticed in the number of

boys

and

girls

who engage in art and craft activity.

Submitted by real.nawa on Sun Feb 18 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart shows the participation of children in selected leisure activities in Australia.

Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect, others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation have more pros than cons?