In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities.some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years.but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
countries, there are Correct article usage
apply
well renowned
schools and medical opportunities are accessible only in towns.some individuals believe that Add a hyphen
well-renowned
the
fresh Correct article usage
apply
teachers
and doctors
should start their joining in the undeveloped villages and working there for some years.whereas
, others opine that the choice of servicing place should be left upon
them.In Change preposition
to
this
essay, i
will discuss both of the points. But, Change the capitalization
I
i
personally agree with the former view,because it is Change the capitalization
I
the
great chance for Correct article usage
a
working
for Replace the word
work
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who have
not enough facilities.
Perhaps the most compelling reason why Add a missing verb
do have
working
place for the new Correct article usage
the working
teachers
and doctors
should be in rural areas is because of providing facilities to the villagers for the sake of a developed life
.There are not enough scopes in the rural areas for education and treatment. So,they are suffering from various diseases and depends
only Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
prejudices
. Change preposition
on prejudices
Additionally
,the school going
children can not attend Add a hyphen
school-going
in
the schools as they Change preposition
apply
have
not skilled Add a missing verb
do have
teachers
. As a result
, people
may die as earlier and also
the students become a labour
which is the main fact Correct your spelling
labourers
to destroy
a nation.Change preposition
for destroying
On the other hand
,the
fresh Correct article usage
apply
teachers
and doctors
get a chance to gather a lot of experience without hesitation. Thus
they apply their book knowledge in the
practical Correct article usage
apply
life
by dealing with simple minded
Add a hyphen
simple-minded
people
.That’s why a few of them may choose to live permanently with these open-hearted people
.
On the other hand
,their
is Replace the word
there
a
another view of choosing Remove the article
apply
work
place should be left Correct your spelling
a workplace
upon on
the new Change preposition
to
teachers
and doctors
. To begin
with,every one
should have a right to live their Replace the word
everyone
life
as their own wish.If they are not comfort
in the rural areas,they will not do their job cordially. Replace the word
comfortable
As a consequence
,their interest in their profession become
Verb problem
apply
get
away from themselves. Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
Secondly
, some of them want to gather
more degrees to achieve more Verb problem
gain
bright
future. So they are Correct word choice
brighter
intereste
Correct your spelling
interested
to spend
their time in complex Change preposition
in spending
zone
and passing their company with experienced professionals. Fix the agreement mistake
zones
Finally
, if they are not start
their Change the verb form
do not start
carrer
as they want,they will not shine.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
career
i
Change the capitalization
I
prefer
that sending new Verb problem
think
teachers
and doctors
in
the village is a good idea for the country. Though Change preposition
into
teachers
and doctors
are such
professions for the people
,so they should serve their life
for undeveloped society. But government
should support them by paying a handsome salary and we all should respect them from our Add an article
the government
soul
so that they can live proudly.Fix the agreement mistake
souls
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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logical structure
Ensure a clear structure by organizing your essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Introduction should clearly state the topic and your stance. Body paragraphs should each address a specific point of view with examples and arguments. A conclusion should summarize your discussion and restate your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, but make them more impactful. The introduction should present the topic and your opinion more clearly. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your points and reiterate your opinion effectively.
supported main points
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Although you have mentioned general situations, incorporating real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios can significantly strengthen your points.
complete response
Make sure you completely address the task by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Provide a balanced discussion on why some people believe new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas and why others believe in freedom of choice. Conclude the essay with a strong, personal stance on the issue.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Each paragraph should explore a unique aspect of the issue. Avoid simple statements; instead, delve into why those views exist and what implications they have.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your views. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing. They also demonstrate your understanding of the topic and ability to think critically about the issues presented.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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