In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for a few years, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In most countries, there are well-renowned schools and medical opportunities are accessible only in towns.some individuals believe that fresh
teachers
and
doctors
should start their joining in the undeveloped villages and working there for some years.
whereas
, others opine that the choice of servicing place should be left to them.In
this
essay, I will discuss both of the points. But, I personally agree with the former view,because it is a great chance for work for
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
have not enough facilities. Perhaps the most compelling reason why the working place for the new
teachers
and
doctors
should be in rural areas is because of
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
facilities to the villagers for the sake of a developed
life
.There are not enough scopes in the rural areas for education and treatment. So,they are suffering from various diseases and depend only on prejudices.
Additionally
, the school-going children can not attend the schools as they do have not skilled
teachers
.
As a result
, people may die as earlier and
also
the students become labourers which is the main fact for destroying a nation.
On the other hand
, fresh
teachers
and
doctors
get a chance to gather a lot of experience without hesitation.
Thus
they apply their book knowledge in practical
life
by dealing with simple-minded
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.That’s why a few of them may choose to live permanently with these open-hearted people.
On the other hand
, there is another view
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
choosing a workplace should be left to the new
teachers
and
doctors
.
To begin
with, everyone should have a right to live their
life
as their own wish.If they are not comfortable in the rural areas,they will not do their job cordially.
As a consequence
,their interest in their profession gets away from themselves.
Secondly
, some of them want to gain more degrees to achieve more brighter future. So they are interested in spending their time in complex zones and passing their company with experienced professionals.
Finally
, if they do not start their career as they want,they will not shine. In conclusion, I think that sending new
teachers
and
doctors
into the village is a good idea for the country. Though
teachers
and
doctors
are
such
professions for the people,so they should serve their
life
for undeveloped society. But the government should support them by paying a handsome salary and we all should respect them from our souls so that they can live proudly.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, it's crucial to provide clear and comprehensive examples supporting your arguments. Consider including specific instances or statistics from reliable sources to make your arguments more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your Coherence and Cohesion, focus on creating a more logical structure throughout your essay. This includes using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the coherence of your essay, maintain a consistent flow of ideas, and ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Avoid introducing new ideas without adequate explanation or conclusion.
Language Proficiency
Increase the richness of your essay by diversifying your sentence structures and vocabulary. This not only makes your writing more engaging but also demonstrates your proficiency in the language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: