Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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In
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At
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all times
people
was
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were
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wearing a
uniform
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uniforms
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to show their
proffesion
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profession
. In
this
essay
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essay,
show examples
i
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I
show examples
want to describe
advantages
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the advantages
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and disadvantages of
this
tradition. The first advantage of wearing a
uniform
is
people
's feelings, because when they see a human who looks
same
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the same
show examples
, their minds feel him like
close
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a close
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friend or even
relative
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a relative
show examples
, that's why the staff of the
company
or the organization becomes more friendly. The second advantage is time, because when they have a
uniform
they haven'
t
to think about what they should
wearing
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wear
show examples
today and
also
they don'
t
take
Verb problem
pay
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attention
on
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to
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their
colleges
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college
show examples
outfits and they
more
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are more
show examples
immersion in their job. The third advantage is
staff's
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the staff's
show examples
attitude about their job, because when they wear a
uniform
they feel part of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
company
themselves, and they want to make
a
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the
show examples
company
more
Correct your spelling
successful
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
and try
work
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to work
show examples
harder than usual and they start to like their job The disadvantage of
that is
people
's creativity can'
t
show itself, because wearing clothes for many
people
is like art and it can be a reason
of
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for
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bad
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a bad
show examples
mood or even depression. The second disadvantage of wearing a
uniform
is
worker's
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workers'
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opinion, because sometimes they don'
t
like how
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
uniform
looks and organizations must
to
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apply
show examples
ask
opinion
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the opinion
show examples
of their staff before they will create a design
of
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apply
show examples
uniform
Add an article
the uniform
show examples
.
Otherwhise
Correct your spelling
Otherwise
their productivity can become lower or they can go away.
at
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In
show examples
the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to say that
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
is great and can help
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
more success and it has more positive sides but
i
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I
show examples
would like to create a one day a week when
people
can wear what they want to develop their creativity and give it to show itself.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
The essay did not address the specific IELTS topic given, instead discussing the pros and cons of wearing a uniform. To improve, ensure your essay directly responds to the prompt given. Focus on understanding and responding to the two views presented in the prompt, along with providing your own opinion on the matter.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts in a more logical and coherent manner. Begin with an introduction that clearly states what the essay will discuss. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. Ending the essay with a well-summarized conclusion that reiterates your standpoint helps improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Although you provided examples to support your points about uniforms, it's crucial to directly relate them back to the essay topic. Use more specific, detailed examples that closely align with the prompt. This makes your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multinational companies
  • standard of living
  • personal growth
  • broader perspective
  • support system
  • social isolation
  • discrimination
  • healthcare
  • education
  • social services
  • enriching
  • fulfilling
  • impactful
  • career opportunities
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