Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Whith

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With

the growth of population, the number of multicultural

societies

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are

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increasing dramatically all around the world.

Societies

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that

people

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who are from different nations

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are

show examples

belived

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believed

to be more beneficial. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statment

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statement

multicultucultural

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multicultural

societies

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cause not

olnly

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only

cultural

demage

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damage

but

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the economical

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economical

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economic

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issue

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issues

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as well. First of all, multicultural

societies

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led to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

demage

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damage

damaged

nation's

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nations'

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cultures since the

people

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who

has

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have

show examples

different cultures bring their own

culutres

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cultures

culture

with them and naturally they tend to live their own cultures.

For example

Linking Words

, let's dive into Syrian

migrant

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migrants

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and

immigrant

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immigrants

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who live in Turkey. With the difference

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between

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Arab and

Turk's

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Turk

show examples

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cultures

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culture

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culture,

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Syrian

people

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struggled to

addapt

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adapt

long time and it was one of the root

factor

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factors

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attacking

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apply

show examples

Turkish culture.

As a result

Linking Words

, multicultural

societies

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has

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have

show examples

drawbacks to a country in terms of culture destroying in

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apply

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several ways.

Secondly

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

countries face cultural problems, they might experience economic problems too because of multicultural

societies

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. It is because

people

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want to work with

the

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apply

show examples

others who look like themselves.

And it

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might categorize

people

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and

leds

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lead

occur

Verb problem

apply

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economic lobbies in

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the

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long term. Undoubtedly, it

casue

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causes

not to

people

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work for

same

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the same

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goal

wihch

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which

country's

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the country's

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economical

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economic

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growth. In conclusion, multicultural

societies

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threaten countries with regard to economically.

Finally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay entirely

claim

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claims

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why multicultural

societies

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bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative effects

for

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show examples

countries with cultural and economic reasons in real life.

k26840qMon Apr 22 2024

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Structure

Keep working on the clarity and coherence of your essay structure. A clear introduction stating your position, followed by logically ordered paragraphs for each main point, and a concluding paragraph summarizing your stance can enhance coherence.

Examples

Focus on providing specific examples to support each of your main points. This adds strength to your argument and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Accuracy

Attention to detail is crucial. Small inaccuracies and typographical errors can undermine the overall impression of your essay. Consider revising your work or utilizing tools to check spelling and grammar.

Conclusion

Your conclusion could be more effective. It's important to restate your thesis and main points briefly, ensuring the reader is left with a clear understanding of your stance on the subject.

Task Response

You engage with the topic directly and express a clear position, which is good for task response.

Coherence

You have attempted to create a logical flow of ideas, which is a positive aspect of essay writing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural exchange
cultural fabric
traditions and perspectives
innovation
economic growth
social cohesion
tolerance and understanding
unity in diversity
cultural clashes
language barriers
multilingualism
integration
translation services
prejudice
diversity

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Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the developed world, average life expectency is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society ? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging population.

THE WORLD TODAY IS A SAFER PLACE THAN IT WAS A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, AND GOVERNMENT SHOULD STOP SPENDING LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON THEIR ARMED FORCES. To what extent do you agree

Some people think that books should be stopped in school, and videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?