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Band 5.5

Write an opinion essay from the perspective of a lost or forgotten toy that has been discarded and left behind by a beloved owner. Explore the emotions that come with the sense of abandonment and the longing to be found again.

#perspective #lost #toy #owner #emotions #sense #abandonment
There were times when I was happy in a
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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 house, with a nice little girl always holding me and treating me like I was her baby. In a constant
world
 of wonder and innocence. But now, I find myself lost, abandoned and thrown away just to be humiliated. All the past memories disappeared in a snap, and the
once loving
Add a hyphen
once-loving
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 voices faded away. Now I wandered through the streets feeling miserable, as I no longer have a home or anything that can protect me from the harsh cruel
world
. Where I am no longer safe and
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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. I wonder what I have done to get
this
 harsh result out in the streets. To what extent did they have to abandon me
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I'm
traveling
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travelling
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 through an uncharted
world
 full of uncertainties. I navigate arid nooks and crannies, concealed beneath layers of disregard and apathy. Every stride I take is met with the tinny echo of my isolation. The hues that once adorned me have become dull, reflecting the waning hope that lies inside of me. But even in the midst of the desolation, resiliency peeks through. I see other people's lives, who, like me, have been left behind and forgotten. Our common experience of neglect unites us to form a quiet partnership. We tell each other stories about our previous owners, remembering the love and joy that surrounded us. We find comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our yearning
in
Change preposition
for
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this
 communion of abandoned souls. Just
this
 showed me how in
this
world
 there are 2 sides. Not
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 we will be nurtured and cared for. There will be a time when we have to depart. I came to the realization that I may never return to my old loving home.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

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task achievement
Expand on the range of emotions and experiences to deepen the narrative, providing guided insights into the toy's psyche across different stages of abandon.
task achievement
Integrate a clear turning point or climax in the story for greater impact, showing a definitive change or realization in the toy's journey.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance flow and readability, connecting ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a more vivid and varied use of descriptive language to bring the setting and emotions to life, making the toy's experience more immersive for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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