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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010

The graph below shows consumers’ average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010
#consumers’ #expenditure #cell #phone #fixed-line #services #america
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The given graph illustrates the average expenses of patrons on cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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, national and international
fixed-line
 and
services
 in America from 2001 to 2010. Generally speaking, it is obvious that the average expenditure represented a high change in cell phone and national
services
while
 the service of international
fixed-line
remain
Change the verb form
remains
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 constant.
To begin
 with, the trend of sales in
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 of cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
rise
 dramatically
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 from $200 to $750.
In
Change preposition
On
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opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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, the flow of expenditure in
services
 of national
fixed-line
services
 dropped vitally in the whole period. From 2001 to 2010, it plummeted from $700 to $400.
In contrast
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 insignificant increase flow of the average expenditure of national
fixed-line
services
.
Initially
, it
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
raised
rises
 from $250 to $350.
Secondly
, it
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 around $300 from 2003 to 2019.
Submitted by callachan8 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fixed-line, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • annual
  • fixed-line services
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • economic factors
  • speculate
  • trends
  • notable change
  • shifts in consumer behavior
  • innovation
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