IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or films) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#artists #freedom #pictures #music #films #government #restrictions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
recent years, freedom of speech has become a controversial issue among human rights defenders. It is to the extent that some people believe creative artists should have the right to say anything they want under any circumstances and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should not restrict them. I partially disagree with
this
 opinion. Those who are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 belief contend that artists are entitled to express their thoughts and convey their feelings to both their fans and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 as a whole.
This
 freedom fosters creativity.
Additionally
, restriction on speech can affect their productivity by reducing the sense of innovation as they cannot talk about their notions freely and should always worry about the consequences of the way they are talking.
However
, reckless talking in public may bring about some problems. Without any limitation, artists may publish
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
harmful content and hate speeches on social media platforms. If they do not respect other attitudes and try to
enforce
Verb problem
expand
show examples
 their horizons, some people may find it offensive. Sometimes, their mindset might be wrong and speaking about them can cause some misleading and misinformation. Even they may say something which can pose a threat to
politic
Replace the word
political
show examples
 safety and may
provokes
Change the verb form
provoke
show examples
 some
protests
Fix the agreement mistake
protest
show examples
 campaign against
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
 speaking about our notions is a basic right that every human has and it is regarded as a means of sharing comments and ideas, influential figures should be mindful of what they say in public, as there would be negative consequences if speeches do not meet all aspects in public and may be threatening for national security.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your viewpoint. A more defined stance helps guide your reader through your argument.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific examples. This strengthens your points and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly and enhance readability.
task achievement
Strive for balance and depth in discussing both sides of the argument. Add more detail and nuance to your counter-arguments to enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by dedicating paragraphs to individual ideas or arguments. This helps in maintaining logical flow and clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: