Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In modern society, it is becoming more popular to heal
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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with alternative medical methods
instead
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of visiting their usual
doctors
Use synonyms
. And I think that
this
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practice will have negative effects on a human's body.   First of all, health is one of the most costly things that humans have. So, it will be a huge mistake to take health problems
not
Rephrase
apply
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seriously. Because there are a lot of different types of illness now, and without professional knowledge,
this
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problem might pose more danger to life than in the first stage of illness. Another danger is the risk of terrible consequences of alternative medical ways. It actually might be a big problem because of
unknowledge
Correct article usage
the unknowledge
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of their ill type or side effects of preparation.
For example
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,   
However
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, not all populations can afford to visit
doctors
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on an ongoing basis. That's because attending good
doctors
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is usually expensive. But, in our generation, it is more and more popular to use next-gen alternatives in a range of all spheres, including medicine. I think in the future it would be an actually good alternative to visit
doctors
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. If,
for example
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, robot
doctors
Use synonyms
will be generated.
This
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will be a sensational innovation, and people could save time and money in the long term.
For example
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, a film called Beymax showed a medical robot that was created by humans and named Baymax.
Further
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, in the movie Beymax, he was healing a little brother of the creator by using any type of high-technology medicine
all in one
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all-in-one
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robot.   
Overall
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, it is more sensitive to visiting
doctors
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than using any alternatives.
However
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, it might be a very costly thing to acquire for these kinds of people, but in the future, there could be better alternatives to
doctors
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.
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clarity
To improve clarity, make sure each paragraph develops a single main idea and avoid jumping between ideas. For instance, discussing the movie 'Beymax' in a paragraph that should focus on the cost of doctors might confuse readers.
relevant-specific-examples
Use specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, mention specific types of alternative medicine and their effects rather than generalizing.
coherence-cohesion
Conclude each paragraph with a brief summary or wrap-up sentence to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task-achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and provides arguments to support it. You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader.
relevant-specific-examples
Your use of examples, like the movie 'Beymax', enriches your essay and makes it engaging, despite needing a bit more alignment with the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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