IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Everybody today should pay a small amount from their income in order to help people who are homeless and / or suffering great poverty. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#everybody #amount #income #people #poverty
Paying small
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
funds
Change preposition
of funds
show examples
 from income to
people
 that needed, homeless or in poverty
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 necessary.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 rarely contribute to homeless, at some point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their life they ever
ddi
Correct your spelling
did
 it,
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 or big amount. The
people
 who
suffering
Change the form of the verb
suffer
show examples
 great poverty are those who are mostly not working or some of them working but not enough to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their basic needs,
such
 as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,
shelters
Fix the agreement mistake
shelter
show examples
 or clothes. The act of giving to
homeless
Correct article usage
the homeless
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 usually by giving small
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money to beggars on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
, most of
this
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 happening in big cities. In some other
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world,
for example
 in Africa, there are quite a few of their citizens living in a very poor condition to the point they can't eat on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. Some of the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 big non-profit
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
collecting
Wrong verb form
collect
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 funds and visit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these countries to help provide
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,
build
Correct word choice
and build
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 good sanitaries, and homes
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these
people
. By
contirbuting
Correct your spelling
continuing
contributing
 to poverty, we become
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
 to them and act as a humanitarian. The idea of giving to
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 that
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 is supported by some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
religions. The
kindess
Correct your spelling
kindness
 you give will
also
 get back to you and some
beliefs
Replace the word
believe
show examples
agreed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that they will receive rewards in
Correct article usage
the after-life
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after-life
Correct your spelling
afterlife
show examples
. That
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
 would contribute their money to support the
people
 that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your viewpoint. Develop your argument in the body paragraphs, and succinctly summarize it in the conclusion.
cohesion
For higher coherence, use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. This includes using words like 'Furthermore', 'However', 'As a result', etc., to create a smooth flow from one idea to another.
evidence
Expand on your examples by explaining how they specifically support your arguments. Provide more detailed evidence or explain the significance of your examples to strengthen your essay.
task response
Work on creating more comprehensive responses by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Develop your arguments clearly and provide more depth to your explanations. Consider exploring different perspectives and providing a balanced view if applicable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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