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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 have different views about whether skilled workers should be forced to
work
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 in their own countries or they should be free to go everywhere they aim for.
While
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 I understand why
people
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 should have
such
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 opinions, I believe that professionals must be free to choose their
work
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. On the one hand, there are some compelling reasons that show us how professionals can pose damage to their own
country
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 by working abroad. As governments spend significant amounts of money on education and try to make it free for their citizens, they expect students to compensate for it by working and serving after school or university. What's more, it would be challenging for each society to tackle the brain drain problem, which leads the community to a crisis in which there would be less skilled
people
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 who might serve the dwellers of the
country
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.
For example
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, with the emigration of doctors and engineers, the quality of health services tends to be reduced, and various industries face major issues.
Therefore
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,
this
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 could lead to a lower standard of life in the
country
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 they have trained.
On the other hand
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, in spite of the arguments mentioned above, the benefits of working overseas outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the workers may return to their own countries after a few years, when they have more experience in more fields to help their countrymen.
Secondly
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, they can send money to their family, and importing
such
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 money from another
country
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 could lead to the improvement of economic elements and a rise in the standard of living.
Lastly
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, the obligation of
people
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 to
work
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 where they are not satisfied is not ethically true, and
this
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 is against the definition and concept of individual freedom
that is
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 the foundation of the democratic era. In conclusion, I recognize why some
people
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 insist on preventing professionals from working overseas, but I believe that they have to
work
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 where they wish.

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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, including discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear, substantiated personal opinion. Incorporate specific and relevant examples to support each point of view and your own stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs. Use a broader range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between points. Additionally, aim for a balanced development of ideas within paragraphs to maintain a steady flow of arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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