IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say movies should be made in a country, others say foreign movies are good for the culture. Discuss both views

#people #movies #country #culture
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Although
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 some suppose that making
movies
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 in a
country
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 is beneficial, others believe that foreign
movies
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 exert a significant influence on
culture
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. There is strong evidence for both sides. I am
proponent
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a proponent
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 of making a
movie
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 whether it is made in
a
Correct determiner usage
one
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country
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 or another
country
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. In the following essay, I will explore two views and
also
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 express my opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 maintain that
movies
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 should be produced in a
country
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. The main advantage of
this
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 notion is economic prosperity. Many industries are involved in the process of producing a
movie
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 from actors and directors to transportation and cinema.
This
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causes that
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means
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 a lot of
people
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will
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apply
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benefit from locally produced
movies
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.
Consequently
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, it leads to prosperity and more income in a
country
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.
For example
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, many
people
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 are working at the cinema, and their wages rely on the
movie
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 industry. From a cultural perspective, watching national
movies
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 maintains the
country
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's values. The
culture
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 of one
country
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 can be damaged by broadcasting other nations' visual products which can cause changes in a
country
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. So, having more visual content
according to
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 traditional values can save a
country
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 from forgetting its
culture
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.
On the other hand
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, others uphold that foreign
movies
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 have a positive influence on
culture
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. I agree that films, which have been made in another
country
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, can increase cultural awareness among
people
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. Many
movies
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 represent special traditions and cultures of a part of our world.
This
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 results in a better understanding of other cultures, and their current advancements.
To sum up
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, opinions are divided as to whether films should be produced in a
country
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 or other countries.
Nevertheless
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, I take a balanced view regarding
movie
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 production. I am of the opinion that making films in a
country
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 will provide better economic situations for
people
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 and preserve their traditions.
Also
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, foreign
movies
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 can introduce other cultures and nations to
people
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.
Submitted by sobi on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear personal stance throughout your essay, not only in the conclusion. This will enhance task achievement.
Task Achievement
Improve the support for your main points by adding more specific examples or evidence. This can enhance the strength of your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to increase coherence. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all sentences within the paragraph support that idea directly. Avoid introducing new arguments without fully elaborating on them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural preservation
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • national identity
  • innovation in storytelling
  • global harmony
  • domestic film production
  • facilitating appreciation
  • broadening horizons
  • fostering talent
  • economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: