Some countries invest in specialized training centers for top athletes rather than in public sports facilities. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
I guess that investing mostly in specialized training centres for top athletes is a negative development. That makes sport less popular and less accessible for other groups of individuals. In
this
essay, I'm going to explain my point of view.
First of all, investing in sports
facilities by government
and countries is an important part of planning the future of every nation. Doing exercises, playing Fix the agreement mistake
governments
sports
games and any other activity like that makes society healthier. For example
, scientists believe that if individuals have easy access to an opportunity to do some sports
, it's way better than if they needed to find any other options. So, if there are many playgrounds, football fields, and trainers people would prefer living an active lifestyle. Also
, that could have a positive effect on the young population. One of the problems in modern society is that kids spend a lot of time playing video games at home, and i
believe those kids would spend more time outside if they had a possibility.
Change the capitalization
I
On the other hand
, specialized training centres are usually built for athletes. That makes doing sports
expensive for all other groups of citizens. Even if it gives a chance to have higher results in competitive events, like The Olympic games, it doesn't really have a positive impact. What a point having a bunch of popular sportsmen if your own citizens can't do sport regularly.
To sumup
, Correct your spelling
sum up
i
wish Change the capitalization
I
government
would understand that building public Add an article
the government
sports
places is the key to growing a healthy society and it would be more kinds of activity that people could do in cities.Submitted by cryptofarmboy on
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Introduction Clarity
Consider adding a clearer introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint succinctly. You touch upon your main argument, but more clarity and precision at the beginning would better guide the reader.
Paragraph Structure
Work on developing a more structured format with clearer paragraph separations and transitions. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea you will discuss.
Linking Words
To improve coherence, make sure to use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas both within and between paragraphs. This will help in making the progression of your arguments clearer and more logical.
Comprehensive Response
For task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Though you present a stance and support it, expanding on the implications with more varied examples and perhaps contrasting viewpoints would enhance response completeness.
Specific Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Citing scientific studies or statistics about the benefits of public sports facilities could strengthen your argument, as could more detailed examples of the negative implications of prioritizing specialized centers.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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