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Writing Samples
Band 3

describe a grpah on the vages of different houses in the united states

#grpah #vages #houses #states
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The above graph illustrates the data of different levels of annual wage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
 in the United States in the years 2007,2011 and 2015. As far as the number of
families
 whose annual income was less than 25,000
Dollars
, it began with around 5
million
 in the
year
 2007,
then
 increased to approximately 27
million
 in the
year
 2011, but has been observed to decrease by 2
million
 four years later.
Similarly
, those of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
 that earned 25,000
Dollars
 to 49,999 were about 25
million
 in 2007, after that it rose to nearly 30
Million
 in the
year
 2011.
Finally
, it decreased to around 27
million
 in the
year
 2015.
By
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
however
, the groups of
families
 which have a high income,
including
Change preposition
from
show examples
 75,000
Dollars
 to 99,999
Dollars
 and 100,000
Dollars
 or more, experienced a drop in 2011, but their data went up in 2015. It is interesting to observe that
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 groups in the middle of the income line, the data has remained the same from 2007 to 2015.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is adequate but could be more detailed. Including the overall trend of the data would enhance the clarity of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed and coherent. Some of your points lack sufficient explanation or detail.
logical structure
The main points are generally clearly presented and follow a logical sequence.
supported main points
You have included relevant and specific details from the graph to support your main points. Keep this up!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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