There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children today face a lot of pressure to do well academically.
Consequences
, Replace the word
Consequently
due to
children focus
more Wrong verb form
focusing
academic
Change preposition
on academic
subject
, some Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
people
prefer to reduce non-academic subject
from Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
school
syllabus. Add an article
the school
However
some people
argue that studying non-academic subjects
is wasting time in schooling period, I believe that that it is vital educating
for young Replace the word
education
people
. This
essay will first discuss the
if kids study without non-academic Correct article usage
apply
subject
, how it would Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
be affect
them, Change the verb form
affect
secondly
will introduce Correct word choice
and secondly
benefits
of non-academic Correct article usage
the benefits
subject
.
What will happen, If young Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
people
take only nonacademic subjects
in school? In my opinion, there might be some achievements which is
good Change the verb form
are
engineer
or Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
scientist
, despite there are lot of Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
people
will grow up who is
struggling Unnecessary verb
apply
stress
, no survival Change preposition
with stress
skill
, Fix the agreement mistake
skills
no
humanity.
Correct word choice
and no
In recently
many scientist proof that "If someone Change preposition
Recently
want
to succeed, not only IQ (Intelligence Change the verb form
wants
quotient
) but also
EQ (Emotional quotient
), AQ (Adaptability quotient
), and SQ (Social quotient
) is needed them". Moreover
, we can gain EQ by academic subjects
, whereas
we will lose other ability
without non-academic Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
subjects
. For instance
, Replace the word
physics
physic
activity teaches us patience, Replace the word
physics
Add a hyphen
decision-making
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
skill
, mobility, and resilience Fix the agreement mistake
skills
as well as
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Correct pronoun usage
us to
to
be Correct pronoun usage
us to
Correct article usage
a healthy
healthy
body. Correct article usage
a healthy
On the other hand
, we learn AQ from daily life activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
such
cooking
, cleaning, netting and so on.
In conclusion, everyone won't be Change preposition
as cooking
scientist
, engineer or teacherCorrect article usage
a scientist
compulsory
, but it is vital everyone who has good mental and physical health, Correct word choice
apply
charity
. As a parent, it is our main duty to bring up Change preposition
to charity
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
child
in Fix the agreement mistake
children
future
society, Add an article
a future
the future
therefore
we should support to
input Fix the infinitive
apply
nonacademic
Change preposition
of nonacademic
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
to
the school syllabus more and more.Change preposition
into
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logical structure
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.