New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Technologies
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have been ever-changing in the 21st century, and
children
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use new
technologies
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in their leisure
time
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more often than in the past. I believe that the disadvantages
outwigh
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outweigh
the
advantages
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in
this
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situation. Relaxing and getting
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excitement
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excited
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can exemplify the
advantages
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of
this
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change.
Children
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treat
Verb problem
are
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using new
technologies
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,
such
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as metaverse and video games, as their sources of relaxation. After a whole day of lessons and finishing homework, they can
finally
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relax their minds from academics when they are immersed in a virtual world. Other than that, getting
excitement
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from victory using those
technologies
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compensates
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for their
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their
Change the word
the
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failure experienced in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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real life. In order to get people interested, if not addicted to their games, game designers utilise psychological concepts to provide sweet tokens of winning, and players spend more
time
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to challenge
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challenging
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themselves with those
technologies
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.
To sum up
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,
children
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relieving their pressure and feeling excited are merits of using new
technologies
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in their spare
time
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. Unfortunately, the demerits are detrimental. Over-reliance on electronic devices and having worse physical and mental
health
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are some disadvantages. As
children
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are hooked on the feeling of relaxation and
excitement
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, they cling to use the new
technologies
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and would not let go.
However
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, they neglect the negative influence of gradually being less resilient. It may be difficult for
children
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to accept their real-life limitations, and their problem-solving ability will be lowered because they are used to being successful in their simulated world.
Furthermore
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,
children
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would actually end up having worse physical and mental
health
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. When the rare free
time
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finally
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arrives and they are still sticking to their devices, they would not end up feeling relaxed, but more tired because of the
bluelight
Correct your spelling
blue light
. They will get so stimulated that it is hard to go to sleep.
Also
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, research suggests that
children
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using too many
technologies
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have shorter attention spans compared to their counterparts. They may need extra effort in order to reverse the situation. In short, the demerits of relying too much on new
technologies
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and having poor physical and mental
health
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outweigh the
advantages
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identified.
To conclude
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, I believe that the disadvantages of
children
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incorporating new
technologies
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in their free
time
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outweigh the
advantages
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. The long-term
health
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of
children
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is crucial and should be protected. There are a lot of ways to achieve relaxation and getting
excitement
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and parents and
children
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should spare no
efforts
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effort
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in discovering them.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task response
Ensure to present a balanced view if the essay question requires a discussion on both advantages and disadvantages, but make your stance clear, as you did.
task response
Support your arguments with more specific examples or data to strengthen your point of view and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain clear and logical organization throughout your essay. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
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