Topic: Today, fashion is becoming more and more important in choosing clothes. What are the reasons? Do you think the trend is positive or negative?
These days, with an increasing number of clothing
brands
, it has become common to rely on fashion
while
selecting clothes. The main reason for this
trend is that people
are driven by the idea to follow
the Change preposition
of following
fashion
trends promoted by the
marketing. I truly believe that relying on these trends only prevents individuals from being unique, and Correct article usage
apply
this
essay will explore the reasons for my viewpoint.
First and foremost, some people
refer to famous brands
while
shopping simply because they lack the understanding of their own personal style. Participating in the selection of right
items can be Correct article usage
the right
a
quite overwhelming activity Correct article usage
apply
especially
for those who do not emphasise the way they look. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For example
, fashion
designers have created a capsule wardrobe which offers consumers the
selection of neutral pieces of clothing Correct article usage
a
for
a daily basis. Change preposition
on
As a result
, without long considerations
shoppers easily get a whole set of clothes matching with each other.
Even thoughAdd a comma
considerations,
,
depending on Remove the comma
apply
fashion
style only is a convenient approach, but
it does not embrace Correct word choice
apply
people
's individuality. If consumers try to personalise their style by themselves within understanding their body type, they can highlight their individual features. For instance
, some customers prefer to wear only luxury brands
, such
as Prada or Chloe, without being aware that most of these high fashion
brands
produce their clothes for tall and slim models. As a result
, many women become upset and dissapointed
that the items they got are not suitable for them.
In conclusion, even though Correct your spelling
disappointed
fashion
serves as a helpful tool for some who are unable to understand their body type, I truly believe that by developing awareness about your
shape and individual features Correct pronoun usage
their
people
will become more self-aware and confident.Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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Task Achievement
To enhance task response, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Both explaining the reasons behind fashion's importance in clothes selection and discussing your perspective on whether it’s a positive or negative trend are crucial. While you did address these topics, providing more specific examples and detailed reasoning would strengthen your argument and help you achieve a higher score. Consider adding more varied and precise examples to better support your views.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve coherence and cohesion, try using a variety of linking words and phrases to more seamlessly connect your ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, using more diverse and explicit topic sentences that clearly state what the paragraph will discuss. This technique will help your reader to follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
For even stronger task achievement, be sure to fully explore each element of the question. This means elucidating the reasons behind the rising importance of fashion in clothing choices and offering a more nuanced discussion of its positive or negative impacts. Incorporating more varied and specific examples from real life or hypothetical scenarios could add depth to your analysis and make your essay more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite