Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

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Issues related to the

developement

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development

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children are frequently discussed these days. It is argued that playing computer

games

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are

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less beneficial for kids's improvement than outdoor activities. I partially agree with

this

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assertion and

this

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essay will provide

futher exlpanations

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further explanations

and examples to support my viewpoint. On the one hand, the

fist

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first

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reason to consider is that outdoor activities require numerous physical

skills

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than focusing on console

games

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In other words

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, trekking, hiking or even

sport

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sports

show examples

games

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need coordination between physical and mental abilities but the majority

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of condition

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condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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belongs

Correct subject-verb agreement

belong

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to physiological talents. Descendants who are

the

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apply

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big

fan

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fans

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of adventure exercises tend to have better sanity or

figure

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figures

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than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

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are not.

For instance

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, research has shown that 75

percent

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per cent

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of people spending their time in open-air recreation

also

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have

healthy

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a healthy

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mind and statuesque shape.

On the other hand

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, the main point of

this

Linking Words

view is that online

games

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these days help improve several

skills

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that can be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important talents in the future. To explain, kids who are surrounded by both online and offline

game

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games

show examples

may have

greater

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a greater

the greater

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decision, teamworking,

Correct word choice

and stretegy

show examples

stretegy

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strategy

skills

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than people who seldom play

games

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For Example

Linking Words

, there is evidence to suggest that 60

percent

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per cent

show examples

of children who are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

game experts or pro players own stronger

leader ship

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leadership

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talents or problem-solving

skills

Use synonyms

than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

are not. All things considered, I am of the opinion that both indoor and outdoor hobbies comprehensively involve

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apply

show examples

several

advantage

Change to a plural noun

advantages

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including mental and physical

asepects

Correct your spelling

aspects

However

Linking Words

, we should find the right balance between

Submitted by nine318 on Mon Feb 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Introduction & conclusion: Ensure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your points and restates your opinion. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion, affecting its overall cohesiveness.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure: Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be supported by examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Supported main points: While you provide examples to support your argument, aim to develop these further with more detailed explanation or additional evidence.

task achievement

Complete response: Make sure to fully address the prompt, including stating your opinion clearly and developing your argument fully with appropriate supporting details. Your essay does not clearly conclude, leaving the argument partially unresolved.

task achievement

Clear, comprehensive ideas: Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader, and ensure each paragraph has a clear point that contributes to your overall argument.

task achievement

Relevant, specific examples: Your essay benefits from the use of examples, but these could be further enhanced by providing more detail or demonstrating how they directly support your point.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

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Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to your supervisor regarding a course you attended as a part of your job. Write - The purpose of your letter - Say how the course was useful to you - What are your suggestions regarding the course

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Car owership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam'

Space travel has been possibile for some time, and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?