the map below shows an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.

the map below shows an industrial area in the town of Norbition and planned future development of the site.
The 2 maps present the transformation of the industrial area in the town of Norbiton and
projected
Wrong verb form
project
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its reconstruction of the site. As we can see obviously, all the factories are about to phase out and will be replaced with lots of housing.
In addition
, a bridge was constructed crossing the river to reach the original farmland, which now has a direct connection to the housing and next to the farmland. In the planned future, there will be no factories and that will be replaced with houses. Shops have been built to the southwest of the main square,
while
a medical centre has been set up to the southeast of the bigger square.
In addition
, there is a small roundabout south of the main roundabout;
in contrast
, a bridge will
also
be projected across the river in the north to connect the farmland and the site. To the northwest of the big square, a new way and some apartments are made. The east side of the area has considerably developed, including a playground for children to play and a school for children’s education.
Submitted by 90nini15yu on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • infrastructure
  • warehouse
  • factory
  • green space
  • traffic flow
  • environmental impact
  • employment opportunities
  • stakeholders
  • modernize
  • comply
  • regulations
  • projection
  • expansion
  • upgrade
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