Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Many individuals believe that both genders have different characteristics,
therefore
certain
jobs
are suitable for
men
and others for
women
. Personally,
this
writer agrees with
this
statement and will outline the reason why in the following essay. It is vital to understand that there are many difficult
jobs
which
men
can do well.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
body fitness and you must
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physically fit to apply
for
Correct pronoun usage
for it
show examples
.
For example
, construction workers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always lift heavy things like brick or stone. Another point to consider is
women
will have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
chance than
men
in make-up
jobs
. There is no doubt that
women
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
very good at skincare or beautifying themselves.
Therefore
, they are more careful about their appearances than
men
.
For example
, many spa shops and cosmetic stores, which have a lot of
women
are
staff
Wrong verb form
staffed
show examples
or the boss is always a female. Taking everything into account,
due to
different qualities,
men
and
women
will choose the most suitable
jobs
for themselves.
However
, nowadays many citizens
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to choose their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
jobs
without the distinguishable gender.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, try to introduce a broader range of cohesive devices (linking words). This will not only improve the flow of your argument but also make the connections between ideas more explicit.
task achievement
Consider developing your main points more comprehensively by adding more detailed examples and a deeper analysis of how these examples support your argument. This will strengthen the supporting evidence for your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
While you effectively introduced and concluded your essay, further refinement could involve making your thesis statement clearer in your introduction and ensuring your conclusion succinctly summarizes and reinforces your main arguments.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. This includes demonstrating a critical consideration of the wider implications or discussing opposing viewpoints to show a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: