There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Children today face a lot of academic pressure, leading some to argue for the reduction of non-academic
subjects
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in school.
However
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, I believe that studying non-academic
subjects
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is essential for young people.
This
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essay will discuss the potential impact of eliminating non-academic
subjects
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and the benefits of including them in the curriculum. If young people only focus on academic
subjects
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, they may excel in fields like engineering or science, but they could struggle with stress, lack survival skills and show a lack of humanity. Research has shown that success requires not only intelligence but
also
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emotional, adaptability, and social skills. Non-academic
subjects
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,
such
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as physical activities, teach patience, decision-making, mobility, and resilience
while
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daily life activities like cooking and cleaning develop adaptability. In conclusion, it is crucial for young people to have good mental and physical health,
as well as
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a sense of charity.
Therefore
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, it is important to include non-academic
subjects
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in the school curriculum to support the holistic development of students.
Submitted by ariunnyam on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Develop a clear and coherent thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas together and improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument. Specific examples can significantly improve the quality and persuasiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure your conclusion is strong and clearly summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the main points discussed in the essay without introducing new information.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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