There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

Children today face a lot of academic pressure, leading some to argue for the reduction of non-academic

subjects

in school.

However

, I believe that studying non-academic

subjects

is essential for young people.

This

essay will discuss the potential impact of eliminating non-academic

subjects

and the benefits of including them in the curriculum. If young people only focus on academic

subjects

, they may excel in fields like engineering or science, but they could struggle with stress, lack survival skills and show a lack of humanity. Research has shown that success requires not only intelligence but

also

emotional, adaptability, and social skills. Non-academic

subjects

such

as physical activities, teach patience, decision-making, mobility, and resilience

while

daily life activities like cooking and cleaning develop adaptability. In conclusion, it is crucial for young people to have good mental and physical health,

as well as

a sense of charity.

Therefore

, it is important to include non-academic

subjects

in the school curriculum to support the holistic development of students.

Submitted by ariunnyam on Mon Feb 19 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Develop a clear and coherent thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas together and improve the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Expand your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument. Specific examples can significantly improve the quality and persuasiveness of your essay.

Task Achievement

Ensure your conclusion is strong and clearly summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the main points discussed in the essay without introducing new information.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

162 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

The government should spend money in promoting sports and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at he same time, the military service are in need of people. compulsory military service is beneficial and neccessary

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