IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter:  Describe the item you lost.  Explain how you lost it.  Tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

#manager #insurance #company #item
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to concern
with
Change preposition
about
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 my
suitcase
 that I lost a week ago. I returned from Paris to Moscow by
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
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of
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from
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Sibir Airline Company. Let me
discribe
Correct your spelling
describe
 my
suitcase
, so it was
colored
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coloured
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 black and on it were red lines and it had
Correct article usage
a wite
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wite
Correct your spelling
white
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 zip.
On
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In
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 my
suitcase
 were some important documents. I would like to tell you that my issue
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
happen
due to
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
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of
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with
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Add an article
the airplane
an airplane
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airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
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 during when
plane
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the plane
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 landed
to
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at
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airport
Add an article
the airport
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 . It is horrible when you
listen
Verb problem
hear
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 that have a danger of
plane
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planes
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 and
that is
 why everybody started
Fix the infinitive
to harry
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harry
Correct your spelling
hurry
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 up to go out. So I
also
harred
Correct your spelling
hard
 to go out from
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the airplane
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airplane
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aeroplane
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 and we all our items left in
plane
Add an article
the plane
show examples
 . And
then
 I
relized
Correct your spelling
realized
realised
 that I lost my bag. I consider that we must open clime for it and I wish to refund
Add an article
the
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price of my
suitcase
 . It
were
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was
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jast
Correct your spelling
just
 250 $ when I bought it. I am looking forward to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 your
desision
Correct your spelling
decision
 about
this
 issue . Yours faithfully Zohrab
Submitted by zohrab-gevorgyan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. The second paragraph could be split to distinctly describe the lost item and then explain how it was lost in separate paragraphs.
logical structure
The letter structure could be improved by clearly separating information into paragraphs: introduction, description of the lost item, explanation of how it was lost, and what you expect from the insurance company.
suitable writing tone
Use a formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid using slang expressions (e.g., 'harry up') and contractions to maintain formality, which is expected in a letter to a business or authority.
complete response
Re-check the letter for spelling and grammar mistakes, which can hinder the clarity of your message. Pay particular attention to the correct spelling of words ('discribe' should be 'describe', 'clime' should be 'claim', etc.).
greeting and closing
Conclude your letter with a formal closing statement followed by your name to maintain the formal tone.
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