IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people view sports as an important feature of our society while others feel it is nothing more than a leisure activety.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that some humans look to sports as an essential feature of our community.
While
Linking Words
 others believe it is not that important and it is just
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
show examples
 activity .I believe that despite gym members wanting to show as luxurious
people
Use synonyms
 , it
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 women and men in
Change the article
a perservise
show examples
perservise
Correct your spelling
preservice
way
Use synonyms
 it
is keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 our bodies more flexible and
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
also
Linking Words
, it
is improves
Change the verb form
is improving
is improved
show examples
 and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 mental
health
Use synonyms
. First of all , doing exercises every day
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a preservice impact on our
bodies
Change noun form
body's
bodies'
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 .Having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 specific time daily to run or jump can activate our muscles to
be
Verb problem
make it
show examples
 easy to move in jobs
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 un hard or continuous hours rather than being lazy person will
tired
Change the verb form
be tired
show examples
 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 second.
Also
Linking Words
, it will protect us from getting overweight
people
Use synonyms
 which can lead to several diseases like diabetes and put our lives
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, researchers approved walking every day for 30
mins
Correct your spelling
minutes
show examples
 will drop the percentage of
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
diabetes patients by 30%.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of boys and girls do not realize
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how is doing simple training in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 mind and mental
health
Use synonyms
 from damage.Running for
20mins
Correct your spelling
20 minutes
 per day will activate
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 mind cells from
die
Wrong verb form
dying
show examples
 and the
way
Use synonyms
 that we think
by
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it will expand in a positive
way
Use synonyms
.
Deepreasion
Correct your spelling
Depression
, anxiety and stress will stay away from society
while
Linking Words
 they
keep
Verb problem
stay
show examples
 active
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 mental age will stay younger
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of having
Correct article usage
a healther
show examples
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and younger body .
For example
Linking Words
, it is approved by
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of athletes that training save us from getting mental disorders by 60%.
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is futile and just a
way
Use synonyms
 to show leisure , it saves
people
Use synonyms
's mental and physical
health
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction that indicates your position on the topic. This helps in establishing a clear standpoint from the beginning.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by detailed examples or evidence. This strengthens the argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and make it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Review your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to enhance its readability. Consider using tools or a second set of eyes for proofreading.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your position. This reiterates your argument and provides a clear ending to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: