some people view sports as an important feature of our society while others feel it is nothing more than a leisure activety.

#people #sports #feature #society #leisure #activety

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It is argued that some humans look to sports as an essential feature of our community.

While

Linking Words

others believe it is not that important and it is just

leisure

Correct article usage

a leisure

show examples

activity .I believe that despite gym members wanting to show as luxurious

people

Use synonyms

, it

is help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

women and men in

Change the article

a perservise

show examples

perservise

Correct your spelling

preservice

way

Use synonyms

is keep

Change the verb form

keeps

show examples

our bodies more flexible and

healther

Correct your spelling

healthier

also

Linking Words

, it

is improves

Change the verb form

is improving

is improved

show examples

and

develop

Correct subject-verb agreement

develops

show examples

mental

health

Use synonyms

. First of all , doing exercises every day

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a preservice impact on our

bodies

Change noun form

body's

bodies'

show examples

health

Use synonyms

.Having

Change the article

show examples

specific time daily to run or jump can activate our muscles to

Verb problem

make it

show examples

easy to move in jobs

need

Correct pronoun usage

that need

show examples

un hard or continuous hours rather than being lazy person will

tired

Change the verb form

be tired

show examples

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

second.

Also

Linking Words

, it will protect us from getting overweight

people

Use synonyms

which can lead to several diseases like diabetes and put our lives

Change preposition

show examples

risks

Fix the agreement mistake

risk

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, researchers approved walking every day for 30

mins

Correct your spelling

minutes

show examples

will drop the percentage of

getting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

diabetes patients by 30%.

Secondly

Linking Words

, what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of boys and girls do not realize

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

how is doing simple training in

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

mind and mental

health

Use synonyms

from damage.Running for

20mins

Correct your spelling

20 minutes

per day will activate

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

mind cells from

die

Wrong verb form

dying

show examples

and the

way

Use synonyms

that we think

Change preposition

about

show examples

it will expand in a positive

way

Use synonyms

Deepreasion

Correct your spelling

Depression

, anxiety and stress will stay away from society

while

Linking Words

they

keep

Verb problem

stay

show examples

active

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

and

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

mental age will stay younger

Change preposition

show examples

result

Add an article

the result

a result

show examples

of having

Correct article usage

a healther

show examples

healther

Correct your spelling

healthier

and younger body .

For example

Linking Words

, it is approved by

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of athletes that training save us from getting mental disorders by 60%.

To conclude

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

strongly believe that

although

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think it is futile and just a

way

Use synonyms

to show leisure , it saves

people

Use synonyms

's mental and physical

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by ghad17172002 on Mon Feb 19 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction that indicates your position on the topic. This helps in establishing a clear standpoint from the beginning.

task achievement

Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by detailed examples or evidence. This strengthens the argument and makes your essay more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Use transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and make it easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Review your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to enhance its readability. Consider using tools or a second set of eyes for proofreading.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your position. This reiterates your argument and provides a clear ending to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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some people view sports as an important feature of our society while others feel it is nothing more than a leisure activety.

Your opinion

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Many people prefer to stay the same type of work all their life, and others prefer to change the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion.

Due to evelopment and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countires, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.