some people view sports as an important feature of our society while others feel it is nothing more than a leisure activety.

It is argued that some humans look to sports as an essential feature of our community.
While
others believe it is not that important and it is just
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
show examples
activity .I believe that despite gym members wanting to show as luxurious
people
, it
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
women and men in
Change the article
a perservise
show examples
perservise
Correct your spelling
preservice
way
it
is keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
our bodies more flexible and
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
also
, it
is improves
Change the verb form
is improving
is improved
show examples
and
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
mental
health
. First of all , doing exercises every day
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a preservice impact on our
bodies
Change noun form
body's
bodies'
show examples
health
.Having
an
Change the article
a
show examples
specific time daily to run or jump can activate our muscles to
be
Verb problem
make it
show examples
easy to move in jobs
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
un hard or continuous hours rather than being lazy person will
tired
Change the verb form
be tired
show examples
in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
second.
Also
, it will protect us from getting overweight
people
which can lead to several diseases like diabetes and put our lives
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
.
For instance
, researchers approved walking every day for 30
mins
Correct your spelling
minutes
show examples
will drop the percentage of
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
diabetes patients by 30%.
Secondly
, what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of boys and girls do not realize
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how is doing simple training in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
mind and mental
health
from damage.Running for
20mins
Correct your spelling
20 minutes
per day will activate
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
mind cells from
die
Wrong verb form
dying
show examples
and the
way
that we think
by
Change preposition
about
show examples
it will expand in a positive
way
.
Deepreasion
Correct your spelling
Depression
, anxiety and stress will stay away from society
while
they
keep
Verb problem
stay
show examples
active
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
mental age will stay younger
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
of having
Correct article usage
a healther
show examples
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
and younger body .
For example
, it is approved by
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of athletes that training save us from getting mental disorders by 60%.
To conclude
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that
although
some
people
think it is futile and just a
way
to show leisure , it saves
people
's mental and physical
health
Submitted by ghad17172002 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction that indicates your position on the topic. This helps in establishing a clear standpoint from the beginning.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by detailed examples or evidence. This strengthens the argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and make it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Review your essay for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to enhance its readability. Consider using tools or a second set of eyes for proofreading.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your position. This reiterates your argument and provides a clear ending to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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