IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work.You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter. explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work

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Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm
Unnecessary verb
I
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 Arthur, I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you in order to
work
Use synonyms
 in your
museum
Use synonyms
 as a
volunteer
Use synonyms
 media assistant.
Correct your spelling
On
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One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the other
Correct your spelling
hand
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hang
Correct your spelling
hand
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, I decided to try myself as a
volunteer
Use synonyms
 and I saw your application for your
museum
Use synonyms
 named Gratitude
Accordingly
Linking Words
, I want to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
volunteer
Add an article
a volunteer
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 for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 reasons, first of all, it's
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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 and you can improve your communication skills, if you're a social phobia,
work
Use synonyms
 and communicate with people at
this
Linking Words
 time,
this
Linking Words
 is very necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
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 our boring life The second reason for
this
Linking Words
 is
huge
Add an article
a huge
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museum
Use synonyms
 with interest things, I love them
examine
Add the particle
to examine
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 and study. From my point of view, I can say that your
museum
Use synonyms
 is very amazing, it contains
painting
Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
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 and ancient culture
Likewise
Linking Words
, you
are hire
Change the verb form
are hiring
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 all employees for free and that's great
in
Change preposition
on
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 your side, so I sincerely wish you progress in your
museum
Use synonyms
 and will try to look for people to help you
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
such
Linking Words
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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things shouldn't just disappear.
Linking Words
Whereas on
Correct word choice
On
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this
Linking Words
, I will list
you
Change preposition
to you
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 all my skills and abilities in my
work
Use synonyms
, first of all,I do my job professionally and accurately, I don't get tired and I don't complain about nonsense . Equally
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, I
patience
Replace the word
patient
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 in collecting information, material,
museum
Use synonyms
 exhibitions,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 as a media
volunteer
Use synonyms
Consequently
Linking Words
, I accept your request for cooperation and will definitely get down to
work
Use synonyms
 on Monday
at the end
Linking Words
 of the month
in
Change the preposition
on
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 March 27 Yours faithfully, Arthur

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coherence cohesion
Focus on a clear introduction, a body with distinct paragraphs for different ideas, and a straightforward conclusion. Use transition words to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
In the greeting, it's preferable to address the museum director by name if known, which makes your letter more personal and professional. The closure is appropriate but could be improved by adding a sentence that indicates you are looking forward to a response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph discusses a single idea. Your skills and availability should be clearly separated into different paragraphs to improve readability.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task: your desire to volunteer, your relevant skills, and your availability. Your explanation could be clearer and more detailed in terms of how your skills specifically apply to the volunteer role.
task achievement
While informal language and contractions can be suitable for semi-formal letters, ensure your writing remains respectful and professional throughout. Avoid slang and overly casual phrases.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enthusiastic
  • Volunteer
  • Part-time
  • Unpaid work
  • Museum director
  • Skills and qualities
  • Customer service
  • Organization
  • Team player
  • Flexible
  • Reliable
  • Positive attitude
  • Availability
  • Professional goals
  • Community contribution
  • References
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