some people say that history is not important. some say it is. describe both views.
While
a facton
of Correct your spelling
faction
fraction
factor
people
holds
the notion that Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
history
is imperative, others argue that it is insignificant. This
essay will delve into bothview
Correct your spelling
both
points
with relevant illustrations.
First and foremost, biased Correct your spelling
viewpoints
infomration
is the obvious disadvantage of learning Correct your spelling
information
history
of a country. Add an article
the history
In other words
, the
written Correct article usage
apply
history
, majority, about
the stories about the population with high social status Change preposition
apply
such
as kings and businessmen, therefore
, the history
of common people
, undeniably, are not recorded anywhere. Besides
, people
are often inspired from
Change preposition
by
history
in
negatively. Change preposition
apply
For example
, the history
of pirates may inspired to youngsters and
commit crimes. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, as young
generation should focus on technological development, the learning of Correct article usage
the young
history
would cause to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
their
valuable time.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Nevertheless
, knowledge about own history
is important to understand own culture. In detail, history
of the Correct article usage
the history
ancister
will help young ones to understand the value of facilities which we Correct your spelling
canister
ancestor
aquire
now. Correct your spelling
acquire
In addition
, the understanding of history
might mould children to be an
ideal Correct article usage
apply
citizen
. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
For example
, the family history
of own will able
to understand the genetic variation Correct word choice
enable one
and
which is essential for Correct word choice
apply
the
disease management. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, several diseases are prevalent in some population
. study about Fix the agreement mistake
populations
this
population will help to treat and erradicate
the diseases.
In conclusion, the major demerit of learning Correct your spelling
eradicate
history
is that is
only about the high class populate
, and Replace the word
population
history
may influence negatively to people
. However
, learning history
will help to understand own social and medical history
.Submitted by ck.manshad on
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task achievement
Address the task more directly by making your stance clearer. While both views were explored, the essay could benefit from a stronger, more direct thesis statement clarifying the writer's viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in your argumentation. Some ideas felt disjointed, which could be improved by linking sentences and ideas more effectively to ensure a smoother flow of logic.
task achievement
Proofread your work to avoid spelling and grammatical errors, as these can detract from the clarity of your message.
coherence cohesion
Use more connectors and cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to follow and strengthen your argument structure.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic range and enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Support your arguments with specific, detailed examples for each point made. While some examples were given, further detail and explanation could strengthen your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
