Dicipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools.Some people think that dicipline should be the responsibilities of teachers, while others think this is the role of parents. Dicuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the contemporary world, examples of misbehaviour are becoming more prevalent across education centres. Whilst certain individuals contend that education providers to be held accountable for the
discipline
of
children
, others believe that
this
responsibility falls on the shoulders of parents. It is my contention that
discipline
cannot originate from one side alone, each plays a crucial role in the development of obedient individuals. First and foremost, unfortunately, the
behaviour
that
children
display at some
schools
is intolerable and should not be undermined.
Children
's
behaviour
can get exacerbated if they lack rudimentary parental supervision
while
they are still maturing.
This
is why it is worth noting that kids with single or no parents are inclined to become more rebellious. To illustrate, a majority of troublesome
children
at
schools
are the ones that either have one parent or no parent at all to
discipline
them appropriately.
This
highlights that parental guidance and supervision are paramount at young ages to maintain
discipline
among
children
in
schools
.
On the other hand
,
although
the primary objective of school teachers is to educate juveniles, teaching them how to display good
behaviour
has recently gained critical importance considering the intensified tendency of
children
who cause disorder at
schools
.
For example
, there are
discipline
workers at
schools
who are responsible for ensuring everyone aligns with the school's rules and norms.
Moreover
, teachers are
also
bearing a responsibility to
discipline
their students by means of care and force when it is deemed necessary. In conclusion, a child's
discipline
commences with parent supervision which should be
then
followed by teachers at
schools
in order to sustain
this
behaviour
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, make sure to address all parts of the task more explicitly. Consider enhancing your argument by integrating more diverse examples and clearer argumentation to directly link back to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, try to ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. You can achieve this by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
General
To enhance your essay, consider varying your sentence structures more. This can add sophistication to your writing and help maintain the reader's interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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