Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
These day
, lack of sleep is very Change the determiner
This day
These days
Common
among Fix capitalization
common
people
, and they would Complain about it . In this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will outline Change the capitalization
I
it
would be offered .
Correct pronoun usage
what
Firstly
, it causes people
become
more anxious at Add the particle
to become
work
. As people
Couldn’t have enough sleep at night
, they wouldn’t be able to reduce the tension which has imposed on them during the day . They would lose their temper at work
when they will face the pressure of a project , which will need Calmness for dealing
with . Change preposition
to deal
Moreover
, they wouldn’t get on well with their colleagues and would be alone at work
. As a result
of having permanently
tiredness , they couldn’t bear other’s beliefs, and Conversation between members would be difficult . They would behave very unpleasantly with other employees , and Change the word
permanent
thus
they damage to
Change preposition
apply
relationship
which Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
lead
to being alone Change the verb form
leads
at
Change preposition
in
working
environment . Add an article
the working
In addition
, they might damage to
their close relationship with their Change preposition
apply
children
. As individuals Could not relieve their body and spirit by
sufficient sleep , they wouldn’t pay attention to their Change preposition
with
children
effectively , especially after having long hours working . They don’t have enough energy to take out their family so as to be freshed
. It causes their Correct your spelling
fresh
children
to being
far away from their parents .
Regarding remedies for lack of sleep , Change the verb form
be
people
should have healthy
lifestyle , which means that citizens should consume light Add an article
a healthy
meal
at Fix the agreement mistake
meals
night
, which would not disturb their sleep . As heavy
meals have been Correct word choice
Heavy
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
that
inhibit individuals to deeply Change preposition
to
sleep
during Verb problem
apply
night
. Add an article
the night
Also
, they would have to put aside electronic device
before going to bed because these gadgets emit harmful rays , which affect Fix the agreement mistake
devices
citizen’s
sleep , and prevent persons to reach essential Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
wavelength
for having Fix the agreement mistake
wavelengths
depth
sleep at Correct your spelling
deep
night
.
In conclusion , lack of sleep cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
to be anxious and lead
them to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
being
isolated at Wrong verb form
be
work
, as well as
, they would miss a close relation
Replace the word
relationship
to
their Change preposition
with
children
. In order to remedy these problems , people
should adopt a
healthy nutrition , which should be light and get rid of electric gadgets at Remove the article
apply
night
.Submitted by alperenyakut on
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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in Task Achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Include specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, and make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. For instance, instead of merely stating that lack of sleep causes anxiety, describe a specific scenario where this occurs and its impacts.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically. Use clear paragraphing, with distinct introductions and conclusions for each section. Transition phrases will help the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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